Wedding Planner

rehearsal dinner

Question:

Hi all!   I have a question about rehearsal dinners.  If I have 2 good friends are traveling from Boston to Texas for my wedding but are not in the wedding party, is it fair for me to want them to come to the dinner?  I don’t think it would be fair to leave the two of them on their own, especially since they are staying with us. Anyone else have this situation come up?  thanks Sandi

Response:

> Hi all! >   I have a question about rehearsal dinners.  If I have 2 good friends are > traveling from Boston to Texas for my wedding but are not in the wedding > party, is it fair for me to want them to come to the dinner?  I don’t think > it would be fair to leave the two of them on their own, especially since > they are staying with us. Anyone else have this situation come up? >  thanks > Sandi

Sandi, We will be inviting all out of town guests who are in town to come to the rehearsal dinner.  This means that we could have up to 30 people, but as far as we’re concerned, the more the merrier (we’re having a picnic). Michele

Response:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > Path: rocksanne!parc!news.Stanford.EDU!newshub.internex.net!news.he.net!uwm.edu!c s.utexas.edu!geraldo.cc.utexas.edu!usenet > Newsgroups: alt.wedding > Organization: The University of Texas at Austin, Austin, Texas > Lines: 10 > NNTP-Posting-Host: slip-64-10.ots.utexas.edu > X-Newsreader: Microsoft Internet News 4.70.1155 > Hi all! >   I have a question about rehearsal dinners.  If I have 2 good friends are > traveling from Boston to Texas for my wedding but are not in the wedding > party, is it fair for me to want them to come to the dinner?  I don’t think > it would be fair to leave the two of them on their own, especially since > they are staying with us. Anyone else have this situation come up? >  thanks > Sandi

I think that its natural to invite out of town guests to a rehersal dinner.  I have a friend who may be coming in also from out of town.  If she decides to come I will ] definitely invite her.  I’ve seen this in a lot of the wedding planners I have. Janet

Response:

> Hi all! >   I have a question about rehearsal dinners.  If I have 2 good friends are > traveling from Boston to Texas for my wedding but are not in the wedding > party, is it fair for me to want them to come to the dinner?  I don’t think > it would be fair to leave the two of them on their own, especially since > they are staying with us. Anyone else have this situation come up? >  thanks > Sandi

When my group of friends from college got married, there has always been one member of the group who was not in the wedding party, but came a great distance and stayed with the group.  In each case, the person was included in the Rehersal dinner.  It made it very nice, much nicer than sitting in a hotel room by yourself.  It is not uncommon for the rehersal dinner to include some out of town guests (especially since you describe them as good friends).   Basically, put yourself in their shoes, and go from there.  I was glad I was included when I was the one not in the wedding party. I will be doing this for my rehersal dinner.  Joe and I discussed it and if we need to chip in a little to cover the extra people we feel should be there, we have no problem doing so. Just a point of view, Kirsten

Response:

Snipped from Sandy   Should 2 out of area friends not in the wedding party be invited to the rehearsal dinner. > Basically, put yourself in their shoes, and go from there.  I was glad I > was included when I was the one not in the wedding party. > I will be doing this for my rehersal dinner.  Joe and I discussed it and > if we need to chip in a little to cover the extra people we feel should > be there, we have no problem doing so. > Just a point of view, > Kirsten

But who is paying for the dinner.  If the groom’s family is paying, they may decide to only include those participating in the wedding. When my best friend got married, she had a lot of out of town family who she wanted to invite.  They did end up coming, but the bride’s family paid for everyone outside of the bridal party. If you are paying for the dinner, invite whomever you wish.  But if someone else is footing the bill, check with them first.         Michelle

Response:

My understanding is the rehearsal dinner is primarily to give people an opportunity to meet each other before the wedding day.  My preference has always been for the more informal ones.  We are having our rehearsal dinner at a small family owned pizza place.  We originally we going to have it a at a nice restaurant but the list of invitees just kept getting longer and longer. Also, my fiance’s family will be much more comfortable and that seemed to be the most important thing, that people felt comfortable.  They are also from out of town, so I wanted them to enjoy their stay as much as possible. I’ve been to both informal and formal rehearsal dinners, and my favorite will always be a barbeque that was held at a local park.  Anyone who was already in town for the wedding was invited to attend.  The wedding itself (which was formal) was wonderful since people already felt comfortable with each other.

Response:

[fiance's mother wants BBQ, brides wants nice rehearsal dinner at restaurant] >How much say should I have in this?  His parents are >paying so I don’t feel like I should veto the idea, but I don’t want to do >it at all.  HELP

Well, since they’re paying it as a gift to you and your fiance the final decision really is up to them.  But that doesn’t mean that you can’t try to influence the choice.  How well do you get along with your future in-laws?  Well enough to make a suggestion that the restaurant dinner might be more in keeping with the "character" of the wedding?  How about your fiance — what are his views on the subject. The idea is to try to build a consensus.  You want to avoid a battle of wills with your future in-laws.   Good luck. —                                                 —  Michal Impressive amounts of material can be accreted in this manner.

Response:

.amily, but his family favors this idea.  Is this an unusual idea for the >rehearsal dinner?  How much say should I have in this?  His parents are >paying so I don’t feel like I should veto the idea, but I don’t want to do >it at all.  HELP >Lynn

Our rehersial dinner is somewhere in between what you and your finace’s family want.  We are making reservations at a spaghetti house for the entire wedding party.  (It’s our favorite restaurant.) I have heard of rehersial dinners being everything from pizza parties to formal sitdowns for every guest that has arrived up to that point. And, no that isn’t an unusual idea.  In fact it is VERY common down here in the south where all the ‘rednecks’ do it that way.  Of course the pig pickin’ is popular too.  Some people even have them for their receptions and everything.  Several of my cousins have done it that way.  I just choose not too.  I want something nicer and more symbolic of what Britan and my wedding is to us. Another Lynn

Response:

I’m having a problem with the rehearsal dinner.  My fiance’s family live in another state, so my mother and I made up a list of restaurants that we like and got price estimates, etc and sent them off to my future-in-laws. My mother-in-law-to-be told me to pick where I wanted to go, so I told her my favorite, which also happened to be the cheapest.  But, she callled last night and asked if we could have a barbeque at a club house her friend told her about instead of going to a restaurant.  I’ve been under the impression that the rehearsal dinner was a nice meal instead of a pool party, which is what she wants.  I’d prefer the restaurant, as would my family, but his family favors this idea.  Is this an unusual idea for the rehearsal dinner?  How much say should I have in this?  His parents are paying so I don’t feel like I should veto the idea, but I don’t want to do it at all.  HELP Lynn                        /      HERSHEY                / |                       /              GIRL               / /

Response:

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