Wedding Planner

Designing a service

Question:

Any suggestions as to resources for designing one’s own ceremony?  (books and the like).  We’ve planned to marry ourselves, and want to include our parents, siblings and 2-3 very close friends, having each of them contribute to the ceremony in some way.  We don’t want a third party (minister/judge) involved, although we are thinking of having someone less involved to be a "master/mistress of ceremonies", just to keep things moving.  We lived in Pennsylvania for a long time & are hoping to technically get married there (Quaker tradition provides for self-marriage, as long as witnesses are present), but have our own little ceremony in NJ with more people present.  Any suggestions by email or posting are appreciated Laura (& Steve) — Laura Hyatt                        <><><><><><><><><><> University of New Mexico         Madness takes its toll. Department of Biology            Please have exact change. Albuquerque, NM 87131              <><><><><><><><><><>

Response:

Go to the largest bookstore you can find and check out what’s available. We used "Words for Your Wedding," by Glusker and Misner, Harper San Francisco, 1986.  The wedding service is divided into sections, and within each section, they list the ceremonies from a bunch of different denominations–then they have a civil service and some they also wrote from scratch. Really lovely stuff. Teresa – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Any suggestions as to resources for designing one’s own ceremony?  (books > and the like).  We’ve planned to marry ourselves, and want to include our > parents, siblings and 2-3 very close friends, having each of them contribute > to the ceremony in some way.  We don’t want a third party > (minister/judge) involved, although we are thinking of having someone > less involved to be a "master/mistress of ceremonies", just to keep > things moving.  We lived in Pennsylvania for a long time & are hoping to > technically get married there (Quaker tradition provides for > self-marriage, as long as witnesses are present), but have our own little > ceremony in NJ with more people present.  Any suggestions by email or > posting are appreciated > Laura (& Steve) > — > Laura Hyatt                        <><><><><><><><><><> > University of New Mexico         Madness takes its toll. > Department of Biology            Please have exact change. > Albuquerque, NM 87131              <><><><><><><><><><>

Response:

>Any suggestions as to resources for designing one’s own ceremony?  (books >and the like).  We’ve planned to marry ourselves, and want to include our >parents, siblings and 2-3 very close friends, having each of them contribute >to the ceremony in some way.  We don’t want a third party >(minister/judge) involved, although we are thinking of having someone >less involved to be a "master/mistress of ceremonies", just to keep >things moving.  We lived in Pennsylvania for a long time & are hoping to >technically get married there (Quaker tradition provides for >self-marriage, as long as witnesses are present), but have our own little >ceremony in NJ with more people present.  Any suggestions by email or >posting are appreciated >Laura (& Steve) >–

"Weddings from the Heart:  Contemporary and Traditional Ceremonies for an Unforgettable Wedding"     Daphne Rose Kingma,   Conari Press, Berkeley, CA Have Fun! Marnie *  <- Tribble  *  <- Tribble slide.

Response:

>Any suggestions as to resources for designing one’s own ceremony?  (books >and the like).  We’ve planned to marry ourselves, and want to include our >parents, siblings and 2-3 very close friends, having each of them contribute >to the ceremony in some way.  

"Ceremonies of the Heart:  Celebrating Lesbian Unions" edited by Becky Butler Copyright 1990.  The Seal Press, Seattle.  ISBN 0-931-18892-X. – A few ceremonies with lots of participation from guests. "Dykes To Watch Out For:  The Sequel" by Alison Bechdel Copyright 1992.  Firebrand Books.  ISBN 1-56341-008-7. – Part of the wedding ceremony includes guests stating their feelings about   event. "For as Long as We Both Shall Live" by Roger Fritts Copyright 1993.  Avon Books, New York.  ISBN 0-380-76928-X. – Draws examples from Protestant, Roman Catholic, Jewish, Contemporary and Civil services.  Discusses the different parts of a wedding service in great detail. "I Do:  A Guide to Creating Your Own Unique Wedding Ceremony" by Sydney Barbara Metrick / Copyright 1992.  CelestialArts, Berkeley.  ISBN 0-89087-679-7 – A combination of advice and worksheets.  Includes sample services with an emphasis on intercultural ceremonies. "The Oxford Book of Marriage" edited by Helge Rubinstein Copyright 1990.  Oxford University Press, New York.  ISBN 0-192-82930-0. – Helped me a great deal with setting up the tone of the ceremony.  I found it remaindered. "Weddings by Design:  A Guide to Non-Traditional Ceremonies" by Richard Leviton Copyright 1993.  HarperSanFrancisco.  ISBN 0-062-51007-X. – A thesis-thick book on wedding traditions throughout the world. Heavy emphasis on astrology. "Your Wedding, Your Way:  A Guide to Contemporary Wedding Options" by Carol Newman / Copyright 1975.  Doubleday, New York.  ISBN 0-385-09608-9. – A very progressive 70’s ceremony planner written by a Humanist minister. The only planner I’ve seen that lists the basic requirements for a legal marriage in all fifty states. If you’re looking for sample vows, send mail to Steve Haslet at his "packet" to people now. —                                         As usual,                                                   Renee

Response:

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