Wedding Planner

officiants

Question:

Hi all.  Ok, I’m still indecisive about who to get to officiate pretty much anyone will do, whether religious or not (I said before that I had heard a religious ceremony was more special and/or meaningful — but many people wrote me and changed my mind.) I called the number in the phone book for marriage licenses (as someone had suggested before) becasue they would probably have a list of those JP’s or judges that do weddings.  Unfortunately, I found the woman I talked to there rather rude and her answer to my query was a curt "No, we don’t do that". So where can I find a JP or Judge?  I figure they would probably be the easiest to get since I don’t belong to a church and I am not getting married in a church.  Is there a special number (or department in the local gov’t) that I can call? Sorry I keep asking so many questions…I’m kinda stressed right now since I found out my job is in North Carolina and Dave’s is in Pennsylvania.  We’ve decided to get married in September and stay separated for up to two years.  No, I’m not a happy camper. Thanks for the brief vent… Pam (and Dave) Sept. 3, 1994

Response:

I tried to email this twice, but it bounced.  Here’s my sage opinion: Pamela – in my state, a Superior Court judge can perform a ceremony.   This information was provided in an information packet we got from the marriage license bureau (my fiance works in the same building).  The superior court judges are listed in our phone book under county government (the county administers weddings here).  I suspect if you called the first judge on the list, his or her staff could tell you who does weddings.   So, try getting an info packet from the marriage license people (maybe you’ll get a different clerk, or a better day) and it should say.  I can’t believe your state does not have judges alllowed to perform marriages, so there must have been some misunderstanding (of course, not even knowing what state you are in, I could be totally off base on this one). Once you get names, be sure to talk to them about what kind of ceremony they are willing to do and where.  Some are judge’s chamber’s only; some are any site, but the two minute ceremony only; some are whatever you want. Also, there are many non-affiliated ministers that can do lovely weddings as well.  We are having a JP who will help us write our ceremony if we want (and askes you to write the check out to a charity, not him.  I like that), but I talked to a few ministers who could be as religious or not as you wanted.  I got their names from a local bridal directory.  If you live in a largish town, try looking for local publications in local bridal-type shops or in the library. Hope this helps,  Selene

Response:

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Hi all.  Ok, I’m still indecisive about who to get to officiate > pretty much anyone will do, whether religious or not (I said > before that I had heard a religious ceremony was more > special and/or meaningful — but many people wrote me and > changed my mind.) > I called the number in the phone book for marriage licenses (as > someone had suggested before) becasue they would probably have > a list of those JP’s or judges that do weddings.  Unfortunately, > I found the woman I talked to there rather rude and her answer > to my query was a curt "No, we don’t do that". > So where can I find a JP or Judge?  I figure they would probably > be the easiest to get since I don’t belong to a church and I > am not getting married in a church.  Is there a special number > (or department in the local gov’t) that I can call? > Sorry I keep asking so many questions…I’m kinda stressed right > now since I found out my job is in North Carolina and Dave’s is > in Pennsylvania.  We’ve decided to get married in September and > stay separated for up to two years.  No, I’m not a happy camper. > Thanks for the brief vent… > Pam (and Dave) > Sept. 3, 1994

You can always ask other services (florists, musicians, caterers, etc.) that you have already hired to provide references for other services. They are an excellent source, since they usually know who is and who is not harmonious to work with.  And believe me ALL services should be interacting and concerned about the performance of the other services. If you have wedding consultants in your yellow pages, they should also be able to provide references.  However, as a certified wedding consultant myself, I caution you to be wary of wedding consultants that do not give referrals for free, or who insist on a lengthy initial consultation.  If they only give out referrals that they have contract arrangements with for referral fees, I would question the quality of the service.  I refer services that do a more than expected job – period – for free, never for a referral fee.  And lenghty initial consultations are usually designed to overwhelm the couple with all the details and create an urgency to sign a contract with the consultant.  I refuse to set an initial appointment for more than 1 and

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