Filed under: Wedding Consultant
Question:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Ok…what is the correct etiquette timeline for Thank You notes to be > done? I’m hearing 2 weeks after your honeymoon to 6 months. > The correct answer is immediately, if not sooner 
> Gifts that arrive before the wedding should have thank you > notes out before the wedding (within reason, of course–if > you get something the day before I don’t think anyone will > pitch a fit if you don’t get a thank you note squeezed in > before you go down the aisle!). You aren’t expected to > spend your honeymoon writing thank you notes, but you’re > expected to get right down to business once you’re back. > There really isn’t a deadline, and I think it’s best not > to think in those terms anyway. If you think there’s a > deadline, you’re likely to procrastinate until then > I would set yourself a goal of getting pre-wedding thank > yous out before the wedding and then set yourself a goal > of doing X per day as soon as you’re back from the honeymoon > until they’re all done. > Best wishes, > Ericka
I agree, thank you notes should be written and mailed as soon as possible. As a recent newlywed and professional organizer, I can offer some advice: 1.Don’t let ‘rules of etiquette’ stress you out. If you had 300 people at your wedding, you’ll probably need more time to write thank you notes than the bride who had less than 100 guests. 2.Pace yourself. Writing 5 sincere and thoughtful thank you notes a day is better than cranking out 20 generic ones a day. Your friends and relatives will be thrilled with a personalized thank you note received three months after the wedding more than a hurried one received in less than three weeks. 3. Give yourself at least one day a week as a ‘thank you note-free day.’ This ‘time-off’ will allow your brain to recharge so you’ll be ready to sit down and write again. Stacey www.organizedartistry.com
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> I agree, thank you notes should be written and mailed as soon as > possible. As a recent newlywed and professional organizer, I can offer > some advice:
<snipped useful advice> Also, treat yourself to some lovely personal stationery and a nice pen, if at all possible. It makes writing those notes much more of a pleasure. Best wishes, Ericka
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Greetings Stacey: 10 days is the proper etiquette timeline for thank you notes. If you need any additional information, please feel free to let me know. I am a wedding consultant/planner and have been in the business for 20 years. My best to you!
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> > Ok…what is the correct etiquette timeline for Thank You notes to be > > done? I’m hearing 2 weeks after your honeymoon to 6 months. > The correct answer is immediately, if not sooner > Gifts that arrive before the wedding should have thank you > notes out before the wedding (within reason, of course–if > you get something the day before I don’t think anyone will > pitch a fit if you don’t get a thank you note squeezed in > before you go down the aisle!). You aren’t expected to > spend your honeymoon writing thank you notes, but you’re > expected to get right down to business once you’re back. > There really isn’t a deadline, and I think it’s best not > to think in those terms anyway. If you think there’s a > deadline, you’re likely to procrastinate until then > I would set yourself a goal of getting pre-wedding thank > yous out before the wedding and then set yourself a goal > of doing X per day as soon as you’re back from the honeymoon > until they’re all done. > Best wishes, > Ericka > I agree, thank you notes should be written and mailed as soon as > possible. As a recent newlywed and professional organizer, I can offer > some advice: > 1.Don’t let ‘rules of etiquette’ stress you out. If you had 300 people > at your wedding, you’ll probably need more time to write thank you > notes than the bride who had less than 100 guests. > 2.Pace yourself. Writing 5 sincere and thoughtful thank you notes a > day is better than cranking out 20 generic ones a day. Your friends > and relatives will be thrilled with a personalized thank you note > received three months after the wedding more than a hurried one > received in less than three weeks. > 3. Give yourself at least one day a week as a ‘thank you note-free > day.’ This ‘time-off’ will allow your brain to recharge so you’ll be > ready to sit down and write again. > Stacey > www.organizedartistry.com
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> If you knew this woman, you would know she is being a snot.
yeah, it kind of came through in that email she sent you. 40 whole days. Wow. I was thinking 2 months was ok! And you were thoughtful enough to get a photo together and get it out in the mail? That’s a great idea. . .. would you do it for me? (just kidding; I don’t think that what you did was wrong in any way shape or form. I’m just always amazed and impressed when anyone does that kind of stuff.) Ok, Ericka, I will get those cards going out right after the shower.
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I only ask because I took exactly 40 days from the wedding to get cards printed with our wedding picture, written and in the mail. I then receive a snide "thank you" email from my step-mother in law saying: " Plus, it’s very good of you to send a thank you note — big pat on your heads." If you knew this woman, you would know she is being a snot. I just want to make sure I haven’t made some horrible etiquette breach my taking a month and 10 days to get them out. The gifts I received before the wedding were thanked when I got them, plus I sent a 2nd thank you with the picture. So some people were doubly thanked. Ok…I was just curious. Thanks, Sarah
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Ok…what is the correct etiquette timeline for Thank You notes to be > done? I’m hearing 2 weeks after your honeymoon to 6 months. > The correct answer is immediately, if not sooner > Gifts that arrive before the wedding should have thank you > notes out before the wedding (within reason, of course–if > you get something the day before I don’t think anyone will > pitch a fit if you don’t get a thank you note squeezed in > before you go down the aisle!). You aren’t expected to > spend your honeymoon writing thank you notes, but you’re > expected to get right down to business once you’re back. > There really isn’t a deadline, and I think it’s best not > to think in those terms anyway. If you think there’s a > deadline, you’re likely to procrastinate until then > I would set yourself a goal of getting pre-wedding thank > yous out before the wedding and then set yourself a goal > of doing X per day as soon as you’re back from the honeymoon > until they’re all done. > Best wishes, > Ericka
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Ok…what is the correct etiquette timeline for Thank You notes to be done? I’m hearing 2 weeks after your honeymoon to 6 months. Sarah
Response:
The sooner the better. Adam www.PlacesEveryone.com The Ultimate Seating Planner
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Ok…what is the correct etiquette timeline for Thank You notes to be > done? I’m hearing 2 weeks after your honeymoon to 6 months. > Sarah
Response:
> Ok…what is the correct etiquette timeline for Thank You notes to be > done? I’m hearing 2 weeks after your honeymoon to 6 months. > Sarah
Anyone who tells you anything other than "immediately" (as in, "as soon as you’ve opened it") is wrong. And, anticipating your next question: ("should I open presents that arrive before the wedding as soon as I get them?") the answer is "yes," AND write the thank you as soon a possible. Just (in the event the gift needs to be returned because something awful happened — or didn’t) DON’T USE THE GIFT until the vows are exchanged. Ann
Response:
> Ok…what is the correct etiquette timeline for Thank You notes to be > done? I’m hearing 2 weeks after your honeymoon to 6 months.
The correct answer is immediately, if not sooner Gifts that arrive before the wedding should have thank you notes out before the wedding (within reason, of course–if you get something the day before I don’t think anyone will pitch a fit if you don’t get a thank you note squeezed in before you go down the aisle!). You aren’t expected to spend your honeymoon writing thank you notes, but you’re expected to get right down to business once you’re back. There really isn’t a deadline, and I think it’s best not to think in those terms anyway. If you think there’s a deadline, you’re likely to procrastinate until then I would set yourself a goal of getting pre-wedding thank yous out before the wedding and then set yourself a goal of doing X per day as soon as you’re back from the honeymoon until they’re all done. Best wishes, Ericka
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Question:
I haven’t had any experience with a wedding consultant so I cannot comment here. I guess the important thing is whether the wedding is something you want to plan yourself or would you rather have someone else doing the bulk of the planning. If there are other people who can help you then you may not need a consultant. One of the most important things you can probably do at this stage is decide on your venue because the most popular spots tend to get booked out fairly quickly. To do this you will need to have some idea of how many guests you are inviting so you would probably want to mock up a likely guest list. Of course the people on it are likely to change during the course of the year but it will give you some idea of how many people you do want to have at your wedding. This is really important as part of your budgeting process and it also reduces the chance of leaving that someone special off the guest list as you have several months to make corrections before it really matters. You’ve already decided your colours and probably have some vague idea of what your dresses will look like so there is a good start. Believe it or not you do have a reasonable amount of time to plan the wedding. It’ll be harder because you are studying but if you do a little bit here and a little bit there the planning isn’t as scarey. I’m making an assumption now but I would hazard a guess that you didn’t become a first year med student by leaving everything until the last minute. To get the grades you needed you had to be consistent in your study patterns and it is the same when planning your wedding. My ex flatmates sister got married and left everything until the last minute and I have never seen such a stressed bride in the month before the wedding. I worked on one item every week or two and it never felt like it was overwhelming me. Because I wasn’t rushing to do everything at once it almost became like a hobby. You go girl and all the best. Make the most of it and enjoy your day. Robyn
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Congrats to you 
) Everything will work out perfectly! I know it’s hard to do, but try not to stress over the small stuff ) Happy Planning! Angel~
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> My fiance and I have finally set a date after being engaged for a year and > dating for 5 years!
Thats great, about time. Now take a deep breath and think….. I’m sure you heard of the KISS principle, Keep It Simple Stupid > But now that we’ve set the date I’m at a complete loss of what to do next.
Go here or to 100 others just by typing wedding planning: http://www.ezweddorders.com/ Make a list, or get one off the net. If you got the time to post here, you got the time to browse to get the real answers. They are all in your head. All you get here is opinions. This is your test, leaning over to see someone elses answers is cheating. You can do a web search for lists of things that occur at weddings since the beginning of time. YOU decide what’s relevant to your unique situation. Here you will get nothing but stories of what they did, and they are not you, everyone’s situation is different, everyone is unique, there could be 100 variables in every story. > I’m hoping that I can get every single detail that I possibly can > set up during the coming summer, then let my maid of honor and sisters > handle the rest up until the wedding.
If this takes two months to plan, why did you waste four extra weeks. It’s not that difficult. Indecisiveness makes it difficult! You are simply planning an occcasion, you are not rebuilding the world. If your schooling interferes, do what the President does and should do, Delegate. > Has anybody had any experiences with wedding consultants and do you think > that the extra expense was worth it? I’m really tempted to go with one so > there would be less demands on my time, but I’d like to keep the budget as > tight as I possibly can!
You can’t your have cake and eat it too. Someone can recommend a wedding consultant that did a good job and you get the boob that makes a mess. A fifteen percent add-on. Finding a good one means you pay for a good one. Many who claim experience are nothing but expensive touts getting a chunk of your change in the process. Besides why pay someone to make a mistake that won’t be known till the actual occasion. They always have the right answer after the affair, after they got paid…. Now if the Wedding consultants want to give a money back guarantee for all they recommend and do, thats another story….. Just doesn’t happen that way…. Generally speaking, the first thing you need to get in your head is that this is not some complex thing. Using the simnple writers questions of WHO, WHAT, WHEN, WHERE, AND WHY. It will prompt you to get the answers. It’s simple enough. 1- Who do I invite? 2- What do I need to do to make this work? 3- When will it occur? 4- Where will it be….and Ha ha what will I wear? ( Double use here…) Anyone of the five should hit it on the head, simple problem solving. Ist year Med….maybe this makes sense… Where is the pain How long have you had it When does it occur What were you doing Why are you here…… See, make it simple…. > As far as letting my mom or my fiance’s mom > handling the plans, it’s out of the question, I’ve grown up in a > completely different culture than them and some of the things my mom has > already suggested to me do not fit anywhere near into my idea of my dream > wedding.
****** Re-read Question five again, see it works…..then how can we resolve this issue. No one here can give you the answer thats in your head… Now the next most important step is become a decision maker and stick to it. When you get tons of advice from friends, relatives or even some of the professional brides here, (some have been married 10 months and still hang around so they can tell their story again and again) you have to learn to separate story telling from "Whats good for you and your occasion".
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My fiance and I have finally set a date after being engaged for a year and dating for 5 years! I’m so happy I can barely contain myself! So as of November 29, 2002 I will be Mrs. Phan-Cao or Mrs. Cao (I haven’t decided yet whether to combine last names or just take his.) But now that we’ve set the date I’m at a complete loss of what to do next. My mom and I will be attending a bridal show in 2 weeks. I know that I want my bouquet to be red and white roses, and my bridesmaids dresses will be some red satiny number. My mom works for JC Penney’s so I’m hoping to take advantage of her employee discount and order the dresses and accessories and such. I have 2 weeks left of Christmas vacation but I don’t know what I can accomplish in that time. My main problem is that I am a first year student in medical school with very little precious free time, I’m hoping that I can get every single detail that I possibly can set up during the coming summer, then let my maid of honor and sisters handle the rest up until the wedding. I kind of wish that I could push the wedding back another month to occur during Christmas break instead of the day after Thanksgiving, but with the unpredictability of the weather here I don’t want to chance snow, and we’ll be having a lot of friends and relatives driving in from out of town. Has anybody had any experiences with wedding consultants and do you think that the extra expense was worth it? I’m really tempted to go with one so there would be less demands on my time, but I’d like to keep the budget as tight as I possibly can! As far as letting my mom or my fiance’s mom handling the plans, it’s out of the question, I’ve grown up in a completely different culture than them and some of the things my mom has already suggested to me do not fit anywhere near into my idea of my dream wedding. So much to do, so little time!
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Question:
This question is for Noe. You always seem very knowledgeable and well versed in the traditional wedding ettiquette. Are you a wedding consultant or involved in the wedding business in some fashion? I’m just curious how one person could know so much about ettiquette. — Kim < June 30th 2001 >
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>This question is for Noe.
Answered privately via e-mail. 
Noe
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Question:
>I hate to ask, but could someone repost the original poems posted?
Then don’t ask. Go to google and look them up yourself. Are are you too LAZY? Ron Ng Knows!
Response:
A hint about using these cameras. ANNOUNCE that the flashes (if equipped) DO NOT work beyond 4 feet. You’ll save yourselves a whack of dolleros on developing bad pics. Cheers, Cheryl
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->I held on to them, they were great. > Lisa > Poems for Disposable Cameras: > I’m your camera – so have some fun, > You’ll make this album a special one! > Snap away as best you’re able, > Then leave me off at the gift table! > Here is a camera > Please use it a lot, > To take pictures of > What the photographer will not. > The flash is required > Because it is night. > If you don’t use it, > The snaps won’t come out right. > Hold the front switch over > ‘Til the little light flutters. > You’re all ready now!! > So please press the shutter. > The perfect distance > Is four to ten feet. > Any nearer or farther > Will be your defeat. > At the end of the evening > With all film exposed, > Return to the best man, > Who’ll develop the photos. > The bride and groom have a request > So put on a big smile > And look your best > When you see some fun > Take the hint > You snap the camera > And we’ll make the print! > Take this camera and have some fun > Get some pictures of everyone! > Maybe you’ll see something > We didn’t see > That we can keep as a memory! > Thank you for sharing > This special day with us. > See this camera sitting here — > It’s for your use, we say. > To help us capture memories > On this, our wedding day. > Share the camera among the guests. > Some candid shots please take. > Then leave the camera when you’re done. > An album we will make. > You’ve helped to make our special day > Complete with love and laughter. > Thank you all so very much > For the memories you did capture! > Contributed by "From This Day Forward" Wedding Consultants Carol and Joy > To celebrate this special day, > Pick a camera and really play. > Leave it on the table when you are through, > So Mary and John can develop the pictures taken by you. > This is a very special gift > for Anne and Bob to see. > The Reason it’s so special is, > ‘Cause it’s from you and me. > Take a posed or candid snapshot > and when all the film is through, > leave the camera by the door > so they’ll have these memories of you. > I hate to ask, but could someone repost the original poems posted? Or just > e-mail them to me? > THANKS > Aimee > > >>Take this camera and have some fun > > >>Get some pictures of everyone! > > >>Maybe you’ll see something > > >>We didn’t see > > >>That we can keep as a memory! > > >I have no qualms, > > >I’ll shoot all night, > > >As long as your remember > > >Who has the copyright. > > With your rights > > they shalln’t waken at night > > sickness no more > > the house is more > > www.geocities.com/winston53660/wbphotog.html
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>Take this camera and have some fun >Get some pictures of everyone! >Maybe you’ll see something >We didn’t see >That we can keep as a memory!
I have no qualms, I’ll shoot all night, As long as your remember Who has the copyright.
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>>Take this camera and have some fun >Get some pictures of everyone! >Maybe you’ll see something >We didn’t see >That we can keep as a memory! >I have no qualms, >I’ll shoot all night, >As long as your remember >Who has the copyright.
With your rights they shalln’t waken at night sickness no more the house is more www.geocities.com/winston53660/wbphotog.html
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I hate to ask, but could someone repost the original poems posted? Or just e-mail them to me? THANKS Aimee
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->>Take this camera and have some fun >>Get some pictures of everyone! >>Maybe you’ll see something >>We didn’t see >>That we can keep as a memory! >I have no qualms, >I’ll shoot all night, >As long as your remember >Who has the copyright. > With your rights > they shalln’t waken at night > sickness no more > the house is more > www.geocities.com/winston53660/wbphotog.html
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>I held on to them, they were great.
Lisa Poems for Disposable Cameras: – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> I’m your camera – so have some fun, > You’ll make this album a special one! > Snap away as best you’re able, > Then leave me off at the gift table! > Here is a camera > Please use it a lot, > To take pictures of > What the photographer will not. > The flash is required > Because it is night. > If you don’t use it, > The snaps won’t come out right. > Hold the front switch over > ‘Til the little light flutters. > You’re all ready now!! > So please press the shutter. > The perfect distance > Is four to ten feet. > Any nearer or farther > Will be your defeat. > At the end of the evening > With all film exposed, > Return to the best man, > Who’ll develop the photos. > The bride and groom have a request > So put on a big smile > And look your best > When you see some fun > Take the hint > You snap the camera > And we’ll make the print! > Take this camera and have some fun > Get some pictures of everyone! > Maybe you’ll see something > We didn’t see > That we can keep as a memory! > Thank you for sharing > This special day with us. > See this camera sitting here — > It’s for your use, we say. > To help us capture memories > On this, our wedding day. > Share the camera among the guests. > Some candid shots please take. > Then leave the camera when you’re done. > An album we will make. > You’ve helped to make our special day > Complete with love and laughter. > Thank you all so very much > For the memories you did capture! > Contributed by "From This Day Forward" Wedding Consultants Carol and Joy > To celebrate this special day, > Pick a camera and really play. > Leave it on the table when you are through, > So Mary and John can develop the pictures taken by you. > This is a very special gift > for Anne and Bob to see. > The Reason it’s so special is, > ‘Cause it’s from you and me. > Take a posed or candid snapshot > and when all the film is through, > leave the camera by the door > so they’ll have these memories of you.
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> I hate to ask, but could someone repost the original poems posted? Or just > e-mail them to me? > THANKS > Aimee > >>Take this camera and have some fun > >>Get some pictures of everyone! > >>Maybe you’ll see something > >>We didn’t see > >>That we can keep as a memory! > >I have no qualms, > >I’ll shoot all night, > >As long as your remember > >Who has the copyright. > With your rights > they shalln’t waken at night > sickness no more > the house is more > www.geocities.com/winston53660/wbphotog.html
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Hi All: I was wondering if anybody new the words to the the little saying for when camera are left on the tables for receptions. Thanks dlj
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Hey there! I know the little saying you’re thinking of, but I cant remember it off the top of my head.. Try going to The Knot Shop online and looking up disposable cameras, I’m sure that was where I read it….either that or it was the thread not too long ago discussing the pros and cons of disposable cameras….. I read so much on this NG trying to get as much info as i can, sometimes it all becomes a blur ) See ya! Lis To Nick 02/02/02 – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > Hi All: > I was wondering if anybody new the words to the the > little saying for when camera are left on the tables > for receptions. > Thanks > dlj
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Poems for Disposable Cameras: I’m your camera – so have some fun, You’ll make this album a special one! Snap away as best you’re able, Then leave me off at the gift table! Here is a camera Please use it a lot, To take pictures of What the photographer will not. The flash is required Because it is night. If you don’t use it, The snaps won’t come out right. Hold the front switch over ‘Til the little light flutters. You’re all ready now!! So please press the shutter. The perfect distance Is four to ten feet. Any nearer or farther Will be your defeat. At the end of the evening With all film exposed, Return to the best man, Who’ll develop the photos. The bride and groom have a request So put on a big smile And look your best When you see some fun Take the hint You snap the camera And we’ll make the print! Take this camera and have some fun Get some pictures of everyone! Maybe you’ll see something We didn’t see That we can keep as a memory! Thank you for sharing This special day with us. See this camera sitting here — It’s for your use, we say. To help us capture memories On this, our wedding day. Share the camera among the guests. Some candid shots please take. Then leave the camera when you’re done. An album we will make. You’ve helped to make our special day Complete with love and laughter. Thank you all so very much For the memories you did capture! Contributed by "From This Day Forward" Wedding Consultants Carol and Joy To celebrate this special day, Pick a camera and really play. Leave it on the table when you are through, So Mary and John can develop the pictures taken by you. This is a very special gift for Anne and Bob to see. The Reason it’s so special is, ‘Cause it’s from you and me. Take a posed or candid snapshot and when all the film is through, leave the camera by the door so they’ll have these memories of you. Coleen :`) "If I could reach up and hold a star for every time you’ve made me smile, the entire evening sky would be in the palm of my hand." -Unknown
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Question:
Does anyone know the regulations for marrying in Venice, Italy or Lucerne, Switzerland? Karin
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Karin I posted a similar question about Venice for a client of mine a couple of days ago – someone from New York replied that they received a useful pack of information from the Italian consulate. There is a lot of red tape, but the pack gives step by step instructions of what to do. Hope this helps, Liz Sexton Alternative Occasions (UK wedding co-ordination)
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Call the country’s Embassy in Washington, DC. They should be able to answer all your questions. You might also try a travel agent, however we found that often only have information for major wedding places like the Caribbean and Paris.
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> There are things I want to know like: how do I get my dress there in good > condition?
If it isn’t too big and bulky, you may be able to take it on the airplane with you. When DH and I were leaving for our honeymoon, there was a couple on the airplane with us who were getting married. She had a simple dress that only had a small dress cover on it. They let her take it as carry-on luggage. Check with the travel agent you booked your honeymoon with! Heather
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> > There are things I want to know like: how do I get my dress there in good > condition? > If it isn’t too big and bulky, you may be able to take it on the airplane > with you. When DH and I were leaving for our honeymoon, there was a couple > on the airplane with us who were getting married. She had a simple dress > that only had a small dress cover on it. They let her take it as carry-on > luggage. Check with the travel agent you booked your honeymoon with! > Heather
This is OK, but the travel agent won’t be on the plane with you to tell the flight attendants he promised they’d take care of your dress. It all depends on: –size/type of plane –how crowded it is –how many people board ahead of you and fill the closets and overheads –whether the flight originates in your city or you are getting on an already crowded plane with all the storage already filled –how unfrazzled and patient the crew is It pays to be very polite in these situations–you get a lot further. It also helps if the gate agent can get you boarded early. Ask. gloria p
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You might also ask the flight attendents if they can hang the dress in the closet in first class where they hang suit jackets and suit bags. Or you might get a large, flat box and check the dress as luggage (if you’re brave and you’re not switching planes). — Melissa [The big day is March 18, 2001]
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> > There are things I want to know like: how do I get my dress there in good > > condition? > If it isn’t too big and bulky, you may be able to take it on the airplane > with you. When DH and I were leaving for our honeymoon, there was a couple > on the airplane with us who were getting married. She had a simple dress > that only had a small dress cover on it. They let her take it as carry-on > luggage. Check with the travel agent you booked your honeymoon with! > Heather > This is OK, but the travel agent won’t be on the plane with you to > tell the flight attendants he promised they’d take care of your dress. > It all depends on: > –size/type of plane > –how crowded it is > –how many people board ahead of you and fill the closets and overheads > –whether the flight originates in your city or you are getting on > an already crowded plane with all the storage already filled > –how unfrazzled and patient the crew is > It pays to be very polite in these situations–you get a lot further. > It also helps if the gate agent can get you boarded early. Ask. > gloria p
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I, too, am having a destination wedding, although it is in Hawaii, and then having a reception upon returning. First, in dealing with the dress, you can either ship the dress (with insurance and signature required) to the manager at the hotel you will be staying at (if you trust this method and if you trust the hotel) or you can ask the flight attendant to hang it in First Class… this is not usually a problem! (Never, never check it as luggage unless you are prepared to wear something else!) You should be able to get your hair and your make-up done by a professional there… whoever is making the arrangements for the wedding ceremony should be able to set this up also. Make sure that you take a picture of the way you want your hair done, this will make it much easier. When it comes to make-up, have the person go a little light, you can always put more on but it is a real pain to take it off and start over again, not to mention time consuming. Have the photographer send you some samples of his work, the resort should be able to give you his number. When it comes to the invitations… I decided that I would invite everyone (we only are sending 35 invitations) to both the wedding and the "at-home" reception and let them decided if the want to and if the can afford to attend. That way no one is upset or insulted buy not being invited. This was done on regular invitation and a separate reception card… just like normal. I am sending out Save the Date" info so anyone and everyone will be informed and can make plans if they wish! I am doing my reception in a beach theme, mainly because we are getting married on the beach, but anything "Caribbean like" would be wonderful for you… Paula L Wilson Wedding Consultant "Why criticize yourself when so many others are willing to do it for you."
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I am planning a destination wedding in the Bahamas for Feb. 2001. My fiancee and I have just begun getting brochures, etc. The brochures and travel agents are a good source of information, but what would be even better would be if there is someone who has actually experienced it! There are things I want to know like: how do I get my dress there in good condition? Will I be able to get my hair and make up done? The resort (Breezes Bahamas) offers a photographer….will the photographs be good? Also, I don’t think that anyone other than our parents will be able to make it, but should we still send out regular invitations nontheless? We will be having a reception when we get back, so should we just send invitations for that? Any help/tips would be greatly appreciated. Carly
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I think the best way to tell everyone about your wedding and invite them to the reception is to do it with an announcement. You can announce at the top that you were married (names,date,place) and then include something like "The pleasure of your company is requested at the reception for…" and then have the reception info. Any invitation you see in the albums can be worded for announcements. You may even be able to find some with a "tropical" theme. If the reception is right after your return, you should mail the announcements (have someone do this from the States) the day of your wedding. If the reception is going to be more than 8 weeks after your return, you should probably send separate announcements and invitations. The Invitation Lady
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> I am planning a destination wedding in the Bahamas for Feb. 2001. My > fiancee and I have just begun getting brochures, etc. The brochures and > travel agents are a good source of information, but what would be even > better would be if there is someone who has actually experienced it! > There are things I want to know like: how do I get my dress there in good > condition? Will I be able to get my hair and make up done? The resort > (Breezes Bahamas) offers a photographer….will the photographs be good? > Also, I don’t think that anyone other than our parents will be able to make > it, but should we still send out regular invitations nontheless? We will be > having a reception when we get back, so should we just send invitations for > that? > Any help/tips would be greatly appreciated. > Carly
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Question:
It isn’t terrible at all. My wedding isn’t until July 15th and I can’t wait until it is over with! I am sick of hearing people’s opinions on how we should do things etc etc etc.. I just can’t wait til this is all over and we can get on with our lives. Best of luck! Tara & David July 15th, 2000 – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->This may sound terrible, but has anyone else out there felt the emotion of >wishing this was all over with? >I am about 3 weeks to W-Day, and am constantly eating, breathing and >sleeping the wedding. In addition to trying to wrap up loose ends, I am >fielding calls from people who now want to cancel, and others who can’t seem >to find their way out of a paper bag. (Do I REALLY need to hold everyone’s >hand in making travel plans ?…) I sent out packets of info. to all of >the positive responders which contained detailed info. on housing, dining, >transportation, the weekend agenda, and a Coastside Guide to visiting the >coast (where the wedding is being held). I feel like I am being pulled in a >million directions, and at this point, wish it was W-Day so I can get on >with it!! I would like to have my "normal" life back!! >I think part of the problem is that I don’t have friends or family here to >whom I can delegate tasks. (And have planned this whole affair in 3.5 >months). My FH does what he can, but is currently working about 70 >hours/week. Needless to say, though most everything is already done, I am a >bit harried! >Anyone else getting close to their date have this feeling? Or has the >entire process been completely rosy? >-Lyn >(Who is wondering if she should get an Rx for Prozac… )
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>I just can’t wait til this is >all over and we can get on with our lives.
I think this is actually a great sign. At least you know you’re not doing it for the wedding! :) I think we’d be surprised at the number of brides that want the big poofy dress affair and don’t really realize or think about what they’re getting into. If your focus is beyond the wedding…great! When people refer to weddings as "The most important day of my life," I wonder what they’re planning for the rest of it! Is it all downhill from there? I couldn’t wait to get the wedding out of the way and for the "life" to begin. Yes, the ceremony was wonderful, the reception a blast, but the best part is coming home at the end of the day and knowing the one you love is there waiting for you. It’s a playmate for life, and *that* should be the focus. * Sent from RemarQ http://www.remarq.com The Internet’s Discussion Network * The fastest and easiest way to search and participate in Usenet – Free!
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I couldn’t agree more! Susan – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->I just can’t wait til this is >all over and we can get on with our lives. > I think this is actually a great sign. At least you know you’re > not doing it for the wedding! :) I think we’d be surprised at > the number of brides that want the big poofy dress affair and > don’t really realize or think about what they’re getting into. > If your focus is beyond the wedding…great! When people refer > to weddings as "The most important day of my life," I wonder > what they’re planning for the rest of it! Is it all downhill > from there? > I couldn’t wait to get the wedding out of the way and for > the "life" to begin. Yes, the ceremony was wonderful, the > reception a blast, but the best part is coming home at the end > of the day and knowing the one you love is there waiting for > you. It’s a playmate for life, and *that* should be the focus. > * Sent from RemarQ http://www.remarq.com The Internet’s Discussion Network * > The fastest and easiest way to search and participate in Usenet – Free!
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>>When people refer
to weddings as "The most important day of my life," I wonder what they’re planning for the rest of it! Is it all downhill from there?<< Ya know, I hear people make comments about that alot, and I just want to give my take on it. As of this moment, the most wonderful, important, day of my life was the day my FH asked me to marry him. Before that, it was the day I met him … before that it was a bunch of other things. My wedding day will *absolutely* be the most important day of my life, because that’s the day we pledge our lives to each other in front of God and our families. A few years after that, I’ll probably consider the births of our children as the "most important days" … get it? I just don’t see how saying that one’s wedding day is the most important day of one’s life is in any way saying that they believe the rest of their life will go down hill. It’s all relative. Mary to Phil 6/23/2001
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YES YES YES!!! i have been feeling that way for about a month or so. i am really looking forweard to the day, but it’s just ONE day! i haven’t been all that swamped with planning, my mom is doing most of it, but still, i just think about it a lot, and i am ready to be married! actually, right now i just want to go on the honeymoon!! :) i don’t think you need prozac, seems perfectly understandable to me that you would feel this way! – Lissie (to Nik, in 5 and 1/2 weeks!)
: This may sound terrible, but has anyone else out there felt the emotion of : wishing this was all over with? : I am about 3 weeks to W-Day, and am constantly eating, breathing and : sleeping the wedding. In addition to trying to wrap up loose ends, I am : fielding calls from people who now want to cancel, and others who can’t seem : to find their way out of a paper bag. (Do I REALLY need to hold everyone’s : hand in making travel plans ?…) I sent out packets of info. to all of : the positive responders which contained detailed info. on housing, dining, : transportation, the weekend agenda, and a Coastside Guide to visiting the : coast (where the wedding is being held). I feel like I am being pulled in a : million directions, and at this point, wish it was W-Day so I can get on : with it!! I would like to have my "normal" life back!! : I think part of the problem is that I don’t have friends or family here to : whom I can delegate tasks. (And have planned this whole affair in 3.5 : months). My FH does what he can, but is currently working about 70 : hours/week. Needless to say, though most everything is already done, I am a : bit harried! : Anyone else getting close to their date have this feeling? Or has the : entire process been completely rosy? : -Lyn : (Who is wondering if she should get an Rx for Prozac… )
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>As of this moment, the most wonderful, important, day of my life was the day my >FH asked me to marry him. Before that, it was the day I met him … before >that it was a bunch of other things. My wedding day will *absolutely* be the >most important day of my life, because that’s the day we pledge our lives to >each other in front of God and our families. A few years after that, I’ll >probably consider the births of our children as the "most important days" … >get it?
I just think it’s like a little kid who says, "Ms. Froggrass is my favorite teacher in the world. First grade is the best," and the next year says, "Second grade is the best grade. Mr. Snortnose is the best teacher ever." At some point you outgrow the need to point out that each new experience is the happiest/best/most wonderful, because something will probably eventually top it. >I just don’t see how saying that one’s wedding day is the most important day of >one’s life is in any way saying that they believe the rest of their life will >go down hill. It’s all relative.
I don’t think it’s saying you believe your life will go downhill, I just think it’s an immature way to express a very mature idea. The wedding is not the important thing…the marriage is. It’s not, "My wedding day is the most important day of my life," it’s "Marrying so-and-so is the most important thing I’ve done in my life." * Sent from RemarQ http://www.remarq.com The Internet’s Discussion Network * The fastest and easiest way to search and participate in Usenet – Free!
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<< I just think it’s like a little kid who says, "Ms. Froggrass is my favorite teacher in the world. First grade is the best," and the next year says, "Second grade is the best grade. Mr. Snortnose is the best teacher ever.">> >It’s not, "My wedding day is the most important
day of my life," it’s "Marrying so-and-so is the most important thing I’ve done in my life."<< And you marry "so and so" AT the wedding … hence the day being very important. From a purely sentimental viewpoint, it’s a beautiful moment worthy of the importance bestowed on it. *Of course*, the marriage is what’s important. Personally, I think that indulging in a few child-like sentiments makes for a much more happier and well rounded person, and definitly does not detract from the enormous importance of the marriage itself. It can only add to it Mary (whose favorite teacher, as of this moment, is her theology professor from the Fall semester ‘99 <g>) to Phil 6/23/2001
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I have 3 sisters who’ve been through this and they all totally imploded for a while a few weeks before the wedding. By the time the 3rd one went through it, we learned that preplanning for it was the way to go. For anyone who’s not there yet, get a thick magic marker and XXX out the Friday, Saturday, Sunday that falls two weeks before the wedding. Tell EVERYONE that this time is for you and your sweetie ONLY. … no showers, parties, visits, calls and no mention of the "W" word for just this 3 days. My second sister did that and when my 3rd sister was getting married, she told everyone about it months before the wedding. She said that knowing it was coming kept her sane and focused and actually having 3 days "like it used to be" helped her to remember that she was marrying this guy because she wants to spend her life with him, not for a day of stress and a white gown. I’ll be following this advice too My 3rd sister also planned for the crash after the honeymoon when you suddenly realize you aren’t "getting married" and it stops being the center of your life. She gave a thank you shower for all the people who’d been there for her in the year of planning. She had it two months after her wedding (just about when our other sisters went through the downer) and she asked everyone to bring any wedding pictures they’d taken. We all ate and laughed and for a minute, she was the center of the universe again…for just long enough. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > This may sound terrible, but has anyone else out there felt the emotion of > wishing this was all over with? > I am about 3 weeks to W-Day, and am constantly eating, breathing and > sleeping the wedding. In addition to trying to wrap up loose ends, I am > fielding calls from people who now want to cancel, and others who can’t seem > to find their way out of a paper bag. (Do I REALLY need to hold everyone’s > hand in making travel plans ?…) I sent out packets of info. to all of > the positive responders which contained detailed info. on housing, dining, > transportation, the weekend agenda, and a Coastside Guide to visiting the > coast (where the wedding is being held). I feel like I am being pulled in a > million directions, and at this point, wish it was W-Day so I can get on > with it!! I would like to have my "normal" life back!! > I think part of the problem is that I don’t have friends or family here to > whom I can delegate tasks. (And have planned this whole affair in 3.5 > months). My FH does what he can, but is currently working about 70 > hours/week. Needless to say, though most everything is already done, I am a > bit harried! > Anyone else getting close to their date have this feeling? Or has the > entire process been completely rosy? > -Lyn > (Who is wondering if she should get an Rx for Prozac… )
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Lyn, OK here is advise from a wedding consultant. Unplug the phone , take a bubble bath and calm down. It will be over soon and you are going to enjoy your day. If your guest want to be there they will get there. Next, exercise and get some rest. This will help you think clearly, then ask your best friend to assist you : sit down and think of the small things : have you done your music list, bought your cake serving sets and toasting glasses ? If not ask for some help, your friends would love to help you I am sure. This is your day , relax and enjoy it. Do not let people and details get to you. Does your wedding or reception site have a coordinator – she can help . Gail
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> This may sound terrible, but has anyone else out there felt the emotion of > wishing this was all over with? > I am about 3 weeks to W-Day, and am constantly eating, breathing and > sleeping the wedding. In addition to trying to wrap up loose ends, I am > fielding calls from people who now want to cancel, and others who can’t seem > to find their way out of a paper bag. (Do I REALLY need to hold everyone’s > hand in making travel plans ?…) I sent out packets of info. to all of > the positive responders which contained detailed info. on housing, dining, > transportation, the weekend agenda, and a Coastside Guide to visiting the > coast (where the wedding is being held). I feel like I am being pulled in a > million directions, and at this point, wish it was W-Day so I can get on > with it!! I would like to have my "normal" life back!! > I think part of the problem is that I don’t have friends or family here to > whom I can delegate tasks. (And have planned this whole affair in 3.5 > months). My FH does what he can, but is currently working about 70 > hours/week. Needless to say, though most everything is already done, I am a > bit harried! > Anyone else getting close to their date have this feeling? Or has the > entire process been completely rosy? > -Lyn > (Who is wondering if she should get an Rx for Prozac… )
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Thanks for the support and suggestions. I have spent today doing *nothing* wedding related, and I think it has helped. We are now down to Wedding -2 weekends…so have to crunch to get everything done. I feel a lot better about it now, though. Thanks again! Lyn
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> This may sound terrible, but has anyone else out there felt the emotion of > wishing this was all over with? > I am about 3 weeks to W-Day, and am constantly eating, breathing and > sleeping the wedding. In addition to trying to wrap up loose ends, I am > fielding calls from people who now want to cancel, and others who can’t seem > to find their way out of a paper bag. (Do I REALLY need to hold everyone’s > hand in making travel plans ?…) I sent out packets of info. to all of > the positive responders which contained detailed info. on housing, dining, > transportation, the weekend agenda, and a Coastside Guide to visiting the > coast (where the wedding is being held). I feel like I am being pulled in a > million directions, and at this point, wish it was W-Day so I can get on > with it!! I would like to have my "normal" life back!! > I think part of the problem is that I don’t have friends or family here to > whom I can delegate tasks. (And have planned this whole affair in 3.5 > months). My FH does what he can, but is currently working about 70 > hours/week. Needless to say, though most everything is already done, I am a > bit harried! > Anyone else getting close to their date have this feeling? Or has the > entire process been completely rosy? > -Lyn > (Who is wondering if she should get an Rx for Prozac… )
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pssst — hey Lisa — Please remove the binary/gif/whatever attachment. Text newsreaders show it as garbage, and it slows down newsreaders. Thanks! As for the stressing factor: Have you considered just taking a day or two to just clear your head and re-gain perspective? It really helps. Then when you get back to prep and planning and Real Life, you have more energy and you might even cut some stuff out that really isn’t as important. But you’re right, if they don’t come, it’s their loss! Great attitude!
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– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> This may sound terrible, but has anyone else out there felt the emotion of > wishing this was all over with? > I am about 3 weeks to W-Day, and am constantly eating, breathing and > sleeping the wedding. In addition to trying to wrap up loose ends, I am > fielding calls from people who now want to cancel, and others who can’t seem > to find their way out of a paper bag. (Do I REALLY need to hold everyone’s > hand in making travel plans ?…) I sent out packets of info. to all of > the positive responders which contained detailed info. on housing, dining, > transportation, the weekend agenda, and a Coastside Guide to visiting the > coast (where the wedding is being held). I feel like I am being pulled in a > million directions, and at this point, wish it was W-Day so I can get on > with it!! I would like to have my "normal" life back!! > I think part of the problem is that I don’t have friends or family here to > whom I can delegate tasks. (And have planned this whole affair in 3.5 > months). My FH does what he can, but is currently working about 70 > hours/week. Needless to say, though most everything is already done, I am a > bit harried! > Anyone else getting close to their date have this feeling? Or has the > entire process been completely rosy? > -Lyn > (Who is wondering if she should get an Rx for Prozac… )
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Lyn, I understand how you feel. We have 16 days until W-Day. We will both be glad when it is OVER!!! We want to get married, but we didn’t realize how much you had to do. I started paying for things in April and I didn’t realize how expensive things were. Now, things are looking better. we have just decided, if someone doesn’t come, or we dont’ have it THEIR LOSS or it wasn’t meant to be. We are not stressing over anything but the of course the day of the wedding standing infront of all those people. I promise It will get better Lisa
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YES! I felt that way at times…take a day.. if you can..if not ..an hour or whatever you can spare..and NOT .. do wedding stuff!!!.. It wont be easy.. but try!.. Go get a massage.. anything you can to just relax and NOT think… Good luck Kass
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> This may sound terrible, but has anyone else out there felt the emotion of > wishing this was all over with? > I am about 3 weeks to W-Day, and am constantly eating, breathing and > sleeping the wedding. In addition to trying to wrap up loose ends, I am > fielding calls from people who now want to cancel, and others who can’t seem > to find their way out of a paper bag. (Do I REALLY need to hold everyone’s > hand in making travel plans ?…) I sent out packets of info. to all of > the positive responders which contained detailed info. on housing, dining, > transportation, the weekend agenda, and a Coastside Guide to visiting the > coast (where the wedding is being held). I feel like I am being pulled in a > million directions, and at this point, wish it was W-Day so I can get on > with it!! I would like to have my "normal" life back!! > I think part of the problem is that I don’t have friends or family here to > whom I can delegate tasks. (And have planned this whole affair in 3.5 > months). My FH does what he can, but is currently working about 70 > hours/week. Needless to say, though most everything is already done, I am a > bit harried! > Anyone else getting close to their date have this feeling? Or has the > entire process been completely rosy? > -Lyn > (Who is wondering if she should get an Rx for Prozac… )
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This may sound terrible, but has anyone else out there felt the emotion of wishing this was all over with? I am about 3 weeks to W-Day, and am constantly eating, breathing and sleeping the wedding. In addition to trying to wrap up loose ends, I am fielding calls from people who now want to cancel, and others who can’t seem to find their way out of a paper bag. (Do I REALLY need to hold everyone’s hand in making travel plans ?…) I sent out packets of info. to all of the positive responders which contained detailed info. on housing, dining, transportation, the weekend agenda, and a Coastside Guide to visiting the coast (where the wedding is being held). I feel like I am being pulled in a million directions, and at this point, wish it was W-Day so I can get on with it!! I would like to have my "normal" life back!! I think part of the problem is that I don’t have friends or family here to whom I can delegate tasks. (And have planned this whole affair in 3.5 months). My FH does what he can, but is currently working about 70 hours/week. Needless to say, though most everything is already done, I am a bit harried! Anyone else getting close to their date have this feeling? Or has the entire process been completely rosy? -Lyn (Who is wondering if she should get an Rx for Prozac… )
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Question:
Hi all. Ok, I’m still indecisive about who to get to officiate pretty much anyone will do, whether religious or not (I said before that I had heard a religious ceremony was more special and/or meaningful — but many people wrote me and changed my mind.) I called the number in the phone book for marriage licenses (as someone had suggested before) becasue they would probably have a list of those JP’s or judges that do weddings. Unfortunately, I found the woman I talked to there rather rude and her answer to my query was a curt "No, we don’t do that". So where can I find a JP or Judge? I figure they would probably be the easiest to get since I don’t belong to a church and I am not getting married in a church. Is there a special number (or department in the local gov’t) that I can call? Sorry I keep asking so many questions…I’m kinda stressed right now since I found out my job is in North Carolina and Dave’s is in Pennsylvania. We’ve decided to get married in September and stay separated for up to two years. No, I’m not a happy camper. Thanks for the brief vent… Pam (and Dave) Sept. 3, 1994
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I tried to email this twice, but it bounced. Here’s my sage opinion: Pamela – in my state, a Superior Court judge can perform a ceremony. This information was provided in an information packet we got from the marriage license bureau (my fiance works in the same building). The superior court judges are listed in our phone book under county government (the county administers weddings here). I suspect if you called the first judge on the list, his or her staff could tell you who does weddings. So, try getting an info packet from the marriage license people (maybe you’ll get a different clerk, or a better day) and it should say. I can’t believe your state does not have judges alllowed to perform marriages, so there must have been some misunderstanding (of course, not even knowing what state you are in, I could be totally off base on this one). Once you get names, be sure to talk to them about what kind of ceremony they are willing to do and where. Some are judge’s chamber’s only; some are any site, but the two minute ceremony only; some are whatever you want. Also, there are many non-affiliated ministers that can do lovely weddings as well. We are having a JP who will help us write our ceremony if we want (and askes you to write the check out to a charity, not him. I like that), but I talked to a few ministers who could be as religious or not as you wanted. I got their names from a local bridal directory. If you live in a largish town, try looking for local publications in local bridal-type shops or in the library. Hope this helps, Selene
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– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Hi all. Ok, I’m still indecisive about who to get to officiate > pretty much anyone will do, whether religious or not (I said > before that I had heard a religious ceremony was more > special and/or meaningful — but many people wrote me and > changed my mind.) > I called the number in the phone book for marriage licenses (as > someone had suggested before) becasue they would probably have > a list of those JP’s or judges that do weddings. Unfortunately, > I found the woman I talked to there rather rude and her answer > to my query was a curt "No, we don’t do that". > So where can I find a JP or Judge? I figure they would probably > be the easiest to get since I don’t belong to a church and I > am not getting married in a church. Is there a special number > (or department in the local gov’t) that I can call? > Sorry I keep asking so many questions…I’m kinda stressed right > now since I found out my job is in North Carolina and Dave’s is > in Pennsylvania. We’ve decided to get married in September and > stay separated for up to two years. No, I’m not a happy camper. > Thanks for the brief vent… > Pam (and Dave) > Sept. 3, 1994
You can always ask other services (florists, musicians, caterers, etc.) that you have already hired to provide references for other services. They are an excellent source, since they usually know who is and who is not harmonious to work with. And believe me ALL services should be interacting and concerned about the performance of the other services. If you have wedding consultants in your yellow pages, they should also be able to provide references. However, as a certified wedding consultant myself, I caution you to be wary of wedding consultants that do not give referrals for free, or who insist on a lengthy initial consultation. If they only give out referrals that they have contract arrangements with for referral fees, I would question the quality of the service. I refer services that do a more than expected job – period – for free, never for a referral fee. And lenghty initial consultations are usually designed to overwhelm the couple with all the details and create an urgency to sign a contract with the consultant. I refuse to set an initial appointment for more than 1 and
Question:
>This is so confusing. Modern Bride and WeddingBells magazines say that >it is only rude to include these cards in WEDDING invitations. I went >to a wedding show at a local dept. store and the keynote speaker (Editor >of Bride’s magazine) said the same thing; that they are meant to go in >shower invites. Usually advice posted on this ng more or less echoes >the "official" word, so I’m wondering why there is such a difference of >opinion here? The only advice I read here is to let your mother spread >the word, but my mother passed away a few years ago so that’s just not >going to work. It seems that keeping the cards and giving them out on >request would be fine. If senile aunt Betty asks where you’re >registered, wouldn’t it be nice to hand her a card rather than rattling >off the info for her to somehow commit to memory? (Not an easy task >even for the pre-senility crowd!)
The bridal magazines are useful tools for shopping and getting style ideas, but they know very little of etiquette. As long as the magazines accept advertising from (surprise!) places where brides can register, they will continue to perpetuate their own brand of "etiquette." It’s never proper to make a gift demand upon people. Those little cards do just that. They tell people "Go here and get me a gift that I’ve already selected." Ergo, those little cards are useful for one thing and one thing only: recycling into pulp. They are not used in *any* type of invitation ever. If senile Aunt Betty forgets where you’re registered, then be delightfully surprised when she gives you a gift of her own choosing, not yours. People will ask you, your family, the groom, his family, and your attendants where you are registered. Heck, some people even take to the internet and discover it for themselves! Trust me… if guests want to buy off a registry, they will find out. Hope this helps, Noe
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>I am not averse to including registry information in shower invitations. But I >still find the cards printed by the stores annoying. I’d rather get the same >information written out by the shower host. It’s just nicer.
And still highly improper. One does not include registry information in any type of invitations by any method – ever. Not by little cards and not written by hand within. The only proper method for giving out registry information is by mouth and *only* when asked. Hope this helps, Noe
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>This is so confusing. Modern Bride and WeddingBells magazines say that >it is only rude to include these cards in WEDDING invitations. I went >to a wedding show at a local dept. store and the keynote speaker (Editor >of Bride’s magazine) said the same thing; that they are meant to go in >shower invites.
bridal magazines and wedding shows and expos exist for one reason only: to sell things and make a profit. That is a far higher priority to them than proper ettiquette, so of course they’ll say it’s all right.
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Yes, it is difficult to remember! Imagine being invited to more than one wedding in the same timeframe. How do you keep it straight? I’ve talked to a woman who attended 12 weddings in a single summer! No, not as a wedding consultant. Also, "Macy’s" could be confusing to those used to a different branch of the May company. Meg > Is it difficult to remember "Macy’s"? Or even "Macy’s and Williams-Sonoma"? > Assuming you are registered at any one or two or three of the "normal" places, > and not solely at a little neighborhood boutique that nobody but your MIL has > ever heard of, it’s not that hard for your guests to remember the name of the > store, and most are well aware of the location nearest them.
Before you buy.
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<snip> > bridal magazines and wedding shows and expos exist for one reason only: to sell > things and make a profit. That is a far higher priority to them than proper > ettiquette, so of course they’ll say it’s all right.
Okay, I thought this was a good point so I checked it out. My independent wedding book said it was ok to "discreetly" note registry info on shower invites. Can anyone find a published resource that says differently? My original comment was that this seems to be the only wedding etiquette issue that the ng and "accepted authority" opinions are polar opposites. No one has written a convincing reply, other than "it’s just not done," and I’d like to know why. I doubt I’ll have a shower at all so it’s not an issue for me, I’m just curious. Etiquette may be a religion for some, but it’s okay to question it! (It’s okay to question religion too, but that’s for another ng.) Meg Before you buy.
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Is it appropriate to put registry slips in with your wedding invitations? I thought that might be a little tacky as well, but I don’t know what else to do with them. (I’m registered at Target and got them in our registration package.) My fiancee says it’s alright but it just seems a little weird. Any thoughts? Susan S. 6-17-00
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a gift needs to be expensive to be appreciated? how "Vulgar" <eg> Kass to Rick 4/29/00
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> I believe it says to the guest "you need to buy >us a gift" > And when you are registered at Target it says to the guest "you need to buy us > a CHEAP gift." > How VULGAR! > Ron Ng Knows!
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> If senile aunt Betty asks where you’re >registered, wouldn’t it be nice to hand her a card rather than rattling >off the info for her to somehow commit to memory? (Not an easy task >even for the pre-senility crowd!)
Is it difficult to remember "Macy’s"? Or even "Macy’s and Williams-Sonoma"? Assuming you are registered at any one or two or three of the "normal" places, and not solely at a little neighborhood boutique that nobody but your MIL has ever heard of, it’s not that hard for your guests to remember the name of the store, and most are well aware of the location nearest them. Even if you *are* registered at the little neighborhood boutique (which probably doesn’t offer those horrid cards anyway), this is one of those instances where a little social pretense on everyone’s part is appreciated. Your guests know you’re prepared to be asked about gifts, you know your guests know, but you’re all supposed to pretend that it’s the last thing on your mind, and it’s just icky to be carrying around and handing out advertising for the store. Keep one of the cards in your wallet and copy the address and phone number down on your own blank piece of paper if anyone asks for the details. Otherwise, the name of the store(s) is sufficient information. I am not averse to including registry information in shower invitations. But I still find the cards printed by the stores annoying. I’d rather get the same information written out by the shower host. It’s just nicer. Imagine a big banner over the head table at the reception that says "This Wedding Brought to You by JC Penney". Yuck, right? Well, that’s about how I view registry cards. They’re more about the *store* selling things than about the *couple* and their home-furnishing taste. Holly
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> In article >If she still doesn’t believe you, give her > the URL for Etiquette Hell and tell her to take a quick trip. > http://www.thinds.com/jmh/ehell > On a barely semi-related note, has anyone else been having problems > trying to access any of the pages at www.thinds.com? Both Netscape and > IE have been telling me that they can’t locate the server for some time, > and I just wondered if anyone else has been able to actually get there > recently. I’ve been trying to research an answer to some non-wedding > related EtiquetteHell for a week or so now, to no avail… *G*
I just tried it and had no trouble — which is remarkable, given how many other pages have caused my Netscape to go kablooey! today. Wende
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> In article >If she still doesn’t believe you, give her > the URL for Etiquette Hell and tell her to take a quick trip. > http://www.thinds.com/jmh/ehell > On a barely semi-related note, has anyone else been having problems > trying to access any of the pages at www.thinds.com? Both Netscape and > IE have been telling me that they can’t locate the server for some time, > and I just wondered if anyone else has been able to actually get there > recently. I’ve been trying to research an answer to some non-wedding > related EtiquetteHell for a week or so now, to no avail… *G* > —
The pages are still there intact and working. I cannot say why your server cannot locate them but they are up and working with no troubles. And contrary to the rumors of my death, my recent absence has been due to death, in fact. The sudden death of a parent of a close friend and the critical condition of a 9 year old son of friends who sustained 2nd and 3rd degree burns over 50% of his body. Anyone in the RTP area who saw the newscast last week, that was him. I’ve been manning a large email list updating people as to his condition, coordinating meals to the family, etc. But never fear, I am busy at work creating yet another series of web pages on wedding planning that are more comprehensive for the DIY bride and set to debute later this summer. Jeanne
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Very poor taste — just inadvertently lose them. Before you buy.
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I guess it depends. I know it is traditionally quite tacky to put where a couple is registered in shower invites…but some families like that level of tackiness and consider it normal. Even at the regional level things like this are acceptable (like the one poster saying everyone where they live has "Thank You" on their thank you notes). Here it is what is generally done, and my family would have a fit if they were left out. To each his own I guess…. Melissa to Chris 7/2/00 – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->I’ve always thought it was considered tacky to >include registry cards in any invitations, shower or wedding. > If it’s not considered proper, as I suspect is the case, >do I include them anyway because the bride’s mother wishes it? I’m the >hostess, so I’d be the one who comes across as tacky, right? > You may indicate "kitchen shower" or "round the clock" shower or whatever the > theme of the shower may be. But you’ll land in Etiquette Hell if you tell guests > where to buy gifts. Trust me… they’ll find out where the bride is registered. > What you tell the bride is that since you want to be sure to host a party that > all will enjoy, you consulted with experts on the subject and found out that > it’s best not to include those terrible little cards. Then go out and get > "Etiquette for Dummies" which explains in a few small words that including those > little cards is a no-no on page 284. If she still doesn’t believe you, give her > the URL for Etiquette Hell and tell her to take a quick trip. > http://www.thinds.com/jmh/ehell > Hope this helps, > Noe
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This is so confusing. Modern Bride and WeddingBells magazines say that it is only rude to include these cards in WEDDING invitations. I went to a wedding show at a local dept. store and the keynote speaker (Editor of Bride’s magazine) said the same thing; that they are meant to go in shower invites. Usually advice posted on this ng more or less echoes the "official" word, so I’m wondering why there is such a difference of opinion here? The only advice I read here is to let your mother spread the word, but my mother passed away a few years ago so that’s just not going to work. It seems that keeping the cards and giving them out on request would be fine. If senile aunt Betty asks where you’re registered, wouldn’t it be nice to hand her a card rather than rattling off the info for her to somehow commit to memory? (Not an easy task even for the pre-senility crowd!) Meg > Very poor taste — just inadvertently lose them. > Before you buy.
Before you buy.
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>I’ve always thought it was considered tacky to >include registry cards in any invitations, shower or wedding. > If it’s not considered proper, as I suspect is the case, >do I include them anyway because the bride’s mother wishes it? I’m the >hostess, so I’d be the one who comes across as tacky, right?
You may indicate "kitchen shower" or "round the clock" shower or whatever the theme of the shower may be. But you’ll land in Etiquette Hell if you tell guests where to buy gifts. Trust me… they’ll find out where the bride is registered. What you tell the bride is that since you want to be sure to host a party that all will enjoy, you consulted with experts on the subject and found out that it’s best not to include those terrible little cards. Then go out and get "Etiquette for Dummies" which explains in a few small words that including those little cards is a no-no on page 284. If she still doesn’t believe you, give her the URL for Etiquette Hell and tell her to take a quick trip. http://www.thinds.com/jmh/ehell Hope this helps, Noe
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In article >If she still doesn’t believe you, give her > the URL for Etiquette Hell and tell her to take a quick trip. > http://www.thinds.com/jmh/ehell
On a barely semi-related note, has anyone else been having problems trying to access any of the pages at www.thinds.com? Both Netscape and IE have been telling me that they can’t locate the server for some time, and I just wondered if anyone else has been able to actually get there recently. I’ve been trying to research an answer to some non-wedding related EtiquetteHell for a week or so now, to no avail… *G* — Lisa (and Greg) Nov. 4, 2000 Before you buy.
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> I’m giving a bridal shower for a friend who was a bridesmaid in my wedding. > Today I got a package in the mail from her mom, which included the guest list > and a couple dozen registry cards from Macy’s and William Sonoma. I’m assuming > that she intends for the regististry cards to be included in the shower > invitations. Is this proper? I’ve always thought it was considered tacky to > include registry cards in any invitations, shower or wedding.
OK, everyone, you might want to sit down here in case you’re easily shocked It is extremely tacky to include registry information in a wedding invitation, because people who go to a wedding are not *required* to bring gifts, gifts are *not* opened at the wedding (or even properly brought *to* the wedding), and it makes the whole affair look way too much like a charity drive. (Now, people are traditionally expected to give a gift if they attend the wedding, but it’s not a *requirement*.) On the other hand, a shower *is* a solicitation for gifts. If someone accepts an invitation to a shower, they *must* bring a gift *to* the shower. (The only exception might be a mother or maid of honor who’s already been to several showers for the bride.) Thus, it’s the hostess’ obligation to give guests information about appropriate gifts. She does this first by choosing what sort of shower it’s going to be (housewares, linens, gardening, lingerie, etc.). She then must give some information about relevant sizes, styles, colors, or whatever. She doesn’t *have* to do this by means of a registry card, or a notation on the invitation of where the bride is registered, but it’s not out of line to do so. You’re the host, so you get to decide how you want to disseminate the information about what appropriate gifts for this shower would be. You don’t *have* to use the registry cards, particularly if you feel uncomfortable with them. But including a registry card with a shower invitation is nowhere near the crime including one with a wedding invitation would be. Perhaps if people remained clear on the idea that a shower (as opposed to other ways of celebrating an upcoming marriage such as a bridal luncheon or tea) *is* an explicit solicitation for gifts, there wouldn’t be as many problems with close family members throwing showers, or guests being invited to multiple showers, or things like that, which are also more serious violations that including a registry card with a shower invitation. Showers can be very charming, but only if everyone recognizes them for what they are and treads carefully as a result. Best wishes, Ericka Kammerer
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- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – >I’m giving a bridal shower for a friend who was a bridesmaid in my wedding. >Today I got a package in the mail from her mom, which included the guest list >and a couple dozen registry cards from Macy’s and William Sonoma. I’m assuming >that she intends for the regististry cards to be included in the shower >invitations. Is this proper? I’ve always thought it was considered tacky to >include registry cards in any invitations, shower or wedding. I didn’t include >them in any of my own invitations (and had plenty of gifts bought off my >registeries anyway). If it’s not considered proper, as I suspect is the case, >do I include them anyway because the bride’s mother wishes it? I’m the >hostess, so I’d be the one who comes across as tacky, right? Or should I tell >her I don’t feel comfortable with it? I don’t want to cause a problem with the >bride’s family, but I don’t want to be embarassed by committing an ettiquette >no-no either. >Kyra
Dear Kyra: You’re absolutely correct–and you are the hostess. The decision is your’s. If she asks, be honest and upfront and tell her that you did not include the cards (for the reasons you mention here). Good Luck! All the best, Deb McCoy: visit my website: wedding-planning info, 2nd weddings; quizzes; interaction–coming soon: Video Village–educating you about videography! www.debmccoy.com: And Marry Make-up!
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my wedding. Today I got a package in the mail from her mom, which included the guest list and a couple dozen registry cards from Macy’s and William Sonoma. I’m assuming that she intends for the regististry cards to be included in the shower invitations. Is this proper? >> Kyra, For a friend’s baby shower, I waited until people called to "RSVP" and when they asked what the expectant mom needed, I mentioned her registry. As far as the bride’s mom goes, I would follow the advice of Melissa when she said to "play dumb" and act as if you didn’t know the cards were meant to go in the envelope with the invitation. I would also avoid correcting the bride’s mom as to the usage of registry cards, I would definitely not do that. To use a popular term, I feel that it is the height of VULGARITY to point out someone’s mistake in etiquette, unless you are specifically asked for advice. Good Luck, Liz
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In a word…ick. People will: A) Ask the hostess where the couple is registered when they reply to the shower; B) Figure it out (generally if you check the major department store in the area or Crate and Barrel you can find someone’s registry on your own; or C) Buy a gift from somewhere that they want to get you regardless of whether or not you registered for it (hardly the end of the world). Cards in the invite are TACK-O-RAMA. * Sent from RemarQ http://www.remarq.com The Internet’s Discussion Network * The fastest and easiest way to search and participate in Usenet – Free!
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Pet peeve: Registry cards/information in the WEDDING invitations!! Makes me wanna get them something from KMart! Priscilla | | | | @@@@@@@ <a href="http://members.aol.com/frostingal/index.html">My New Homepage</a>
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I have to disagree with most of these replies. We sent two cards with our shower invitations, we registered at two different places. Two people did not receive the cards in the invitations somehow and actually called and told us they did not receive any cards and did not know where to shop. IMO a shower takes place to give a gift to the bride & groom. What other reason is there for the shower? I do agree that including such a card in the wedding invite is very tacky. Again, IMO. Joe * Sent from RemarQ http://www.remarq.com The Internet’s Discussion Network * The fastest and easiest way to search and participate in Usenet – Free!
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> In a word…ick. > People will: > A) Ask the hostess where the couple is registered when they > reply to the shower; > B) Figure it out (generally if you check the major department > store in the area or Crate and Barrel you can find someone’s > registry on your own; or
These two options require extra work on the guests’ part. As a shower guest, I always want to be informed of where the couple is registered, & I don’t usually have time to play phone-tag w/a host (esp. a host I don’t personally know). IMO, it’s a courtesy to yr guests to include registry info. in the shower invite — after all, the whole point of a wedding shower is to "shower" the couple with gifts! –T. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . a.g.f.faq.chick gothic martha stewart
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>> that she intends for the regististry cards to be included in the shower > invitations. Is this proper? I’ve always thought it was considered tacky >to > include registry cards in any invitations, shower or wedding.
It’s tacky to give the appearance that you (or your family) are demanding that people bring you particular gifts — or any gift at all — in exchange for their attendance at a social event in your honor. That would be a wedding. It’s not so tacky to provide information regarding the type of gifts you would prefer in an invitation that (1) is not issued by you or your immediate family, and (2) is for an event that specifically includes the giving of gifts as the key "activity". That would be a shower. Using the preprinted registry cards, however, is a bit impersonal, and can be misinterpreted by those who have the same reaction you did. So it’s a better idea to include that information in the text of the invitation itself, in your own words, rather than on a card with the store logo. Example: "Susie and John’s house is mostly decorated in pale blue and mahogany, they enjoy gourmet cooking, and they are registered at Macy’s and Williams-Sonoma." You are certainly not obligated to do ANYTHING simply because the MOB suggests it. Holly
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>I’m assuming >that she intends for the regististry cards to be included in the shower >invitations. Is this proper? I’ve always thought it was considered tacky to >include registry cards in any invitations, shower or wedding
everyone together now… V U L G A R! Absolutely not appropriate. Someone needs to teach the mother proper behavior in this case it might need to be you. I think if you explained to her your feelings, she might understand. Since she didn’t explain what you were supposed to do with the cards, you can always play dumb if she says anything, like you thought she sent the cards in case someone asked you where she was registered. Besides, you are the hostess, not the mother, so what you say goes! melissa to paul 09-24-00 a bubble-free, animal-release free, toss anything-free event
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I’m giving a bridal shower for a friend who was a bridesmaid in my wedding. Today I got a package in the mail from her mom, which included the guest list and a couple dozen registry cards from Macy’s and William Sonoma. I’m assuming that she intends for the regististry cards to be included in the shower invitations. Is this proper? I’ve always thought it was considered tacky to include registry cards in any invitations, shower or wedding. I didn’t include them in any of my own invitations (and had plenty of gifts bought off my registeries anyway). If it’s not considered proper, as I suspect is the case, do I include them anyway because the bride’s mother wishes it? I’m the hostess, so I’d be the one who comes across as tacky, right? Or should I tell her I don’t feel comfortable with it? I don’t want to cause a problem with the bride’s family, but I don’t want to be embarassed by committing an ettiquette no-no either. Kyra
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Question:
Hi everyone, I just got engaged a few weeks ago. We set our date to be September 23rd. All we have done so far is to reserve our honeymoon (in Aruba!!!). We are both very busy anyway (I work full time, go to school full time, he is in the army, in a Serbo-Croatian language class full time, and we are trying to start a business) and this wedding is taking so much energy!!! Does anyone have any planning suggestions, or tips. My email have. Thanks, Marcy
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We got engaged almost a year ago (next week). I had been married before, and he hasn’t. The planning is the MOST stressful part of the wedding. We decided that we wanted to concentrate ALL our energy on having a great time with our family and friends. Big deal if they don’t see you say the "I do’s" – so we thought!! I had my parents giving me suggestions, and his parents giving me totally different suggestions!! Very hard on the mind, and very stressful because we wanted to please everyone. I know this is the *easy* way to get out of the stress – but we ELOPED in November of last year!! You CAN’T imagine all the stress that is off our shoulders! We are happy, debt free and now having stress planning our "reception" for April!! I thought the wedding was going to be hard – it’s the reception you need to look out for!! Good luck in your planning – this was how we happily handled all the time restraints (and I’m not saying it’s for EVERYONE)… Sherrel
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Hi everyone, I just got engaged a few weeks ago. We set our date to be > September 23rd. All we have done so far is to reserve our honeymoon (in > Aruba!!!). We are both very busy anyway (I work full time, go to school > full time, he is in the army, in a Serbo-Croatian language class full time, > and we are trying to start a business) and this wedding is taking so much > energy!!! Does anyone have any planning suggestions, or tips. My email > have. > Thanks, > Marcy
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Hi Marcy. Congratulations on your engagement. There are lots of good online wedding guides. Try www.webjournals.com Good luck, Brian
| Hi everyone, I just got engaged a few weeks ago. We set our date to be | September 23rd. All we have done so far is to reserve our honeymoon (in | Aruba!!!). We are both very busy anyway (I work full time, go to school | full time, he is in the army, in a Serbo-Croatian language class full time, | and we are trying to start a business) and this wedding is taking so much | energy!!! Does anyone have any planning suggestions, or tips. My email | have. | | Thanks, | Marcy | |
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Hi Marcy, Congratulations on your recent Engagement (and the same to your Fianc
Question:
Hello all, My fiance and I are planning to get married in July/August. We live in the Oceanside/San Clemente area in Southern CA. We have been going to many hotels/country clubs in search of the "perfect" reception spot. However, places we like end up either being too expensive or they have already been rented. I have done a few searches on MSN.com but they seem to be dead ends. I do have to admit I didn’t look very well. Does anyone know of a site that may help? All suggestions are wellcome. JJ Before you buy.
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Hi JJ I think the best way to find things on the web is to use Yahoo www.yahoo.com. When entering your search criteria, surround your criteria, i.e., "wedding and california" by quotes. This tells Yahoo to find sites which match that criteria exactly. There’s also MetaFind www.metafind.com which collects combined returns from several search engines. I found the following (among many others) on Yahoo. http://www.wedcon.com/ http://www.wedding-world.com/california/honeymoon.html http://www.california-bride.com/ There’s tons of stuff like that, using that search. Hope that helps! Jay www.infonuptial.com Share Your Wedding with the World – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – >Hello all, >My fiance and I are planning to get married in July/August. We live in >the Oceanside/San Clemente area in Southern CA. We have been going to >many hotels/country clubs in search of the "perfect" reception spot. >However, places we like end up either being too expensive or they have >already been rented. I have done a few searches on MSN.com but they >seem to be dead ends. I do have to admit I didn’t look very well. >Does anyone know of a site that may help? All suggestions are wellcome. >JJ >Before you buy.
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JJ, You might try contacting a local wedding consultant for reception site ideas. I know of a lady named Norma Edelman (the Wedding Casa) who specializes in finding unique locations, but I don’t know if she works that far north or not (she is located in Old Town, San Diego). Her phone number is 619-298-9344. She is active in the ABC (Assoc. Bridal Consultants) so if she can’t help you she can probably refer you to someone who can. Be prepared to accept the fact that you are getting a very late start trying to find a location for the busiest time of the busiest year for weddings. I wish you well in your search. Michael Cornish – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > Hello all, > My fiance and I are planning to get married in July/August. We live in > the Oceanside/San Clemente area in Southern CA. We have been going to > many hotels/country clubs in search of the "perfect" reception spot. > However, places we like end up either being too expensive or they have > already been rented. I have done a few searches on MSN.com but they > seem to be dead ends. I do have to admit I didn’t look very well. > Does anyone know of a site that may help? All suggestions are wellcome. > JJ > Before you buy.
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We live in So. Cal and are having our wedding and reception at the Hotel Laguna at the end of July. Feel free to e-mail me if you have questions…maybe we can compare notes? Melissa
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