Question:
Does anyone know an ftp site where I can find a wedding planner for a pc? Thanx Tori
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>Does anyone know an ftp site where I can find a wedding planner for a >pc?
There are two (one which caters only for the guest list, and another which covers almost everything) on: ftp.wuarchive.wustl.edu login: anonymous in the directory mirrorsmsdosdatabase The second one I would have used (shareware, $20) but I carry my info around quite a bit, and I am not one those lucky people to have a laptop. 
Enjoy. Celia
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Send me a mailing address. I have a copy of a wedding organizer software that I will mail to you. It has a spreadsheet, database, and a calender organizer. The cost to the progammer is around $15.00. I will send it free for you to "review".
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Question:
We are getting married in Jamaica next September (while on a cruise) and pretty much figured out that we are on our own. There isn’t much out there for destination weddings. I found one book…Far and Away Weddings (can’t remember the author) that was marginally helpful. We sent out letters of invitation along with information about the cruise. We are also sending out invitations for a picnic that we will have two weeks afterwards. Most wedding planners are of no help with destination weddings. According to the planners I am supposed to be thinking about what kind of wedding I want and scouting out site for the reception…I did that in May!! The timelines are absolutely useless… Give me a yell if you want more info. Christine (marrying Mario) September 4, 2000
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There are lots of free planners online… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > x-no-archive: yes > Well, we’re a year away, but I feel like I need to get a wedding planner, or > some kind of instruction book, as we’re planning this ourselves. We’re > thinking of having a destination wedding, in the Caribbean, and I want to > send out "save the date" letters in January. Can anyone recommend a good > wedding planner specifically for destination weddings? Does such a thing > exist? (Casual is fine, as we’re looking at a small (75), informal > wedding.) > Thanks in advance, > Donna
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>Does such a thing >exist? (Casual is fine, as we’re looking at a small (75), informal >wedding.)
Wow! 75 people to attend a desination wedding?! That’s quite impressive. Melissa
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Question:
My wife is finally starting up her Event planning business. She’s been planning events for years and years but always for corporations and is now starting her own company to plan things for consumers like weddings, parties, etc. If interested, the website is www.eventartistry.net
Response:
> My wife is finally starting up her Event planning business. She’s been
planning events for years > and years but always for corporations and is now starting her own company to plan things for > consumers like weddings, parties, etc.
How romantic, a wedding at Dave and Busters! – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text –
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Question:
Didn’t know about the site! thanks!! Looking at it now!! Nathalie
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I found a very kewl website that probably lots of you already know about. But for those that haven’t discovered it yet, you might want to check it out. It has so much information that I spent a long long time reading the site, and never even scratched the surface. There was a great page that was a link from the entertainment page that gave all kinds of ideas for songs for first dance, plus each of the special dances (mother/son, father/daughter, etc. etc.) Well, before I go on and on anymore, I’ll give you the URL. It’s http://www.weddingpages.com . Speaking of Wedding Pages, I got a wedding planner free from one of the bridal stores where I looked at dresses. They are customized for where you live, and I found a wealth of information in the planner. Sure wish I had been the one to come up with the Wedding Pages. Wish I could find a job like that! :-) Well, guess I’ll close. Haven’t been on here in awhile. I’ve been so busy, plus having some problems at work. Take care everyone. Perky PJ — If you click on reply, remove NOSPAM from email address. This was added to eliminate unsolicited email advertisements when posting to a newsgroup. Remember, PJ says: "Friends are the chocolate chips in the cookies of life."
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Question:
Anyone have any recommendations on a wedding planner? Not an fancy wedding, more for help with paperwork, a photographer and such. Thanks. JonPi Fort Lauderdale
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I am a photographer in Massachusetts and I used to live in the U.S.V.I. I reccomend that you go to one of the newspapers on the islands and find a photographer who works for them. Ask for samples of wedding photos. Or else you might want to go to a commercial studio down there. Make certain they have a good reputation and don’t pay for more than 1/4 to get them there. Then pay another 1/4 when they fininsh and the other half when you have gotten your photos. Believe me there are many photographers and others down there who will try to sweet talk and maybe even jive you. Be assertive and give payments as a reward for work. If you get burned the police probably, most likely, wont help you. If none of this works fly me down and I will do it for you. I love those islands. Good luck!
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Question:
> I was just wondering how many others were mistaken for a vendor trying to > advertise on this site. This has happened to me twice now. Do > vendors/advertisers usually have a signature that says "Jane marrying John > 9/9/99" ?? Sorry, it just kind of hurt my feelings. > Crystal (marrying Joe, 8/19/99)
The nice thing is, if you’re innocent of the vendor charge, it will be obvious as you stick around and continue to post. Probably people are quick on the draw, but no real harm done if you stay around and and continue to participate. If you do elect to post messages that promote sites of products, it might be wise to add a disclaimer about who you are and why you’re posting it. That may stop some people from jumping on you.
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<snipped down to relevant passage> > seem to be *very* fond of >telling people about the free wedding planner (which isn’t free after all)
To clarify: I was the one who pointed out that the planner mentioned was *not* free for everyone. However, it seems that it *is* in fact free to those who live within the planner’s "advertising support regions." Not that this affects its actual usefulness, or the appropriateness of posting the URL for said planner in this group, but I wanted everyone to be clear on this situation. M.
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>I would love this site.. I am actually trying to find sites.. Can you send me
Are you trying to find email sites or any wedding-related site? I don’t have bridal account email links but if you need anything else, I can help. I do not have a website – I’m not trying to get business. I do have links on my favorites menu that I’ve collected for myself and for those who may need/want them. Crystal (marrying Joe, 8/19/99)
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> > So get a grip. Checkout some of the pages. You might just find > something you can use. > Okay, now I’ll say something nasty. I seriously doubt it.
I second this! Personally, when *I* see some generic post along the lines of "<Company Foo> is a great source for <Product Bar> for your wedding. Check out the website at <URL Frobnitz>. I do not work for <Company Foo> and am not affiliated with them in any way I just thought somebody would find this information helpful." I just assume that the non-affiliation statement is a line of bull and that it’s an ad. And in the past few weeks, I’ve seen an increasing number of this type of ad on the newsgroup. Over the past few months, I’ve posted replies to people asking for suggestions on vendors in my area, and I’ve never once received a FAQ email from Noe. So, I don’t know what the differences are between my posts and Roseyrains — I don’t even recall the posts she’s mentioning — or between mine and those of anyone else who’s gotten a FAQ email, but for the most part I just ignore anything that looks like an ad. If I ever *do* get one of those emails from Noe, I’ll just double-check my post and either ask her (Noe, privately, by email) what it was that sparked the FAQ reminder (if I can’t figure it out myself) or just chalk it up to an editoral oversight on my part and post more carefully in the future. Regarding those increased ads, I figure that if I respond to one & say "ooh! this is an ad! that’s a no-no!" that it just means the company’s name gets posted again in the reply, and again in the reply to my reply, and so on. . . . just my opinion. Wendy
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> what if I was to tell you I knew of a site where you could get a > free e-mail account that was designed just for brides and grooms and from > the same place you could send free wedding and engagement e-cards. Would > you care or better yet don’t you think others in this group would want to > know? > Or should such a service go un noticed and un used because posting a note in > this group would be considered "SPAM". > Oh and by the way I am not talking about the WeddingMag website. (please > note hyperlink not included)
Just an idea, if you’ve been FAQed, that might prevent future FAQings: Post the basic info, describing the service offered (just as you have above, except without the defensiveness) and invite anyone interested in checking it out to send you an email asking for the company’s url. Personally, if I saw something I was really interested in, I would send the email asking for the info. (Yeah, you might have to reply to several people’s emails, but then you could either send a reply to them all at once, or just forward the first reply to any subsequent url-requesters. The likelihood that you’d get hundreds of requests that swamp your mailbox and prevent you from getting other work done is realistically pretty slim.) Hope this helps, Wendy
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> I was just wondering how many others were mistaken for a vendor trying to > advertise on this site. This has happened to me twice now. Do > vendors/advertisers usually have a signature that says "Jane marrying John > 9/9/99" ?? Sorry, it just kind of hurt my feelings.
If I have sent you e-mail regarding a post which is not in keeping with the FAQ,then it had all the makings of an ad violation. One does not have to be a vendor in order to violate the group’s "No Ads" policy. In checking your history on Dejanews, I see where you have posted several ads that should have triggered the "please don’t post ads" notice from me, but I only recall sending you one for your most recent post of "Free Wedding Planner" on 9/13/98. According to your history in Dejanews, you seem to be *very* fond of telling people about the free wedding planner (which isn’t free after all) and about the web site where you bought your dress. (If I recall, you also posted a method of trying on dresses at a bridal store, but then doing business on-line instead of with the store that tended to you.) You also made a post about links, which skirts the FAQ since alt.wedding is non-commercial. Overall, your history of posting on alt.wedding is not very favorable in your corner as most original posts either resulted in no threading whatsoever or flaming, both of which are undesirable attributes on a discussion forum. By the way, Karen Simmons, a vendor who posts advice (when asked) on this group is also getting married, so yes, there are vendors who walk both sides of the street in this group. In my humble "keeper of the FAQ" opinion, it would seem more prudent to stay away from posts which do nothing but point people to a web site – especially if that information has not been asked for – and stay away from those repeated posts which clearly invite flaming. Hope this has cleared up the matter for you. Noe — Disclaimer: This answer may preclude those whose religion requires otherwise, those whose cultural upbringing demands otherwise or those who have community norms practiced without exception to the contrary.
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In article >OK Donna, what if I was to tell you I knew of a site where you could get a >free e-mail account that was designed just for brides and grooms and from >the same place you could send free wedding and engagement e-cards. Would >you care or better yet don’t you think others in this group would want to >know? >Or should such a service go un noticed and un used because posting a note in >this group would be considered "SPAM". >Oh and by the way I am not talking about the WeddingMag website. (please >note hyperlink not included)
I would love this site.. I am actually trying to find sites.. Can you send me Thank you. Linda D. Mom 2 David Engaged to Angel http://member.aol.com/kc6533/e.htm
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Hi Mrs. Eric Sanborn! — Sorry, couldn’t resist, I know you’re Robin 
My unnecessary and probably redundant opinion is this: I think posting a site’s URL is okay only if it’s posted by someone not affiliated with the site. It’s far to easy to set up a fake account, post the appropriate question, then post your sites URL and say "but it was in response to a question…" To me, that’s one reason why it’s ALWAYS wrong for commercial sites to post their own URL for any reason. If the site’s good, and alt.wedding users find it useful, they’ll get the word out. On the other hand, if a site is 100% non commercial (i.e. doesn’t sell anything, no ads, no "sponsors," no nothing) I think it’s okay to post your own site _when it’s in response to a question in the group and your site is a genuine resource for that query_. Of course, there’s already a guideline for the group, so who the hell am I to pose my thoughts anyway… Kris – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> OK Donna, what if I was to tell you I knew of a site where you could get a > free e-mail account that was designed just for brides and grooms and from > the same place you could send free wedding and engagement e-cards. Would > you care or better yet don’t you think others in this group would want to > know? > Since we’re all here, obviously we already all have email and probably don’t > need another account. Free web-based accounts are everywhere these days. There > are plenty of places from which you can send a free greeting card, or you can be > creative and send a (much more personal) email message. > Or should such a service go un noticed and un used because posting a note in > this group would be considered "SPAM". > Even if it’s not SPAM, it is in violation of the group’s "no-ads" policy. This > policy was created *by the newsgroup members* because it’s something *we want*. > So no, we wouldn’t want to see an advertisement for the above service. The > owner of the hypothetical above service needs to find other ways of advertising > than violating the FAQ of a newsgroup. That never makes friends. > Oh and by the way I am not talking about the WeddingMag website. (please > note hyperlink not included) > Um…good? Who cares? > — > While this email address is valid, I don’t check it due to spam. Please post all replies.
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>This >policy was created *by the newsgroup members* because it’s something *we >want*. >So no, we wouldn’t want to see an advertisement for the above service.
Actually, I’d like to have as many links as possible. I’m always needing help with planning my wedding. Crystal (marrying Joe, 8/19/99)
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Since you asked[1], my personal responses – bob >> You might just find something you can use donna >> I seriously doubt it Bob >> … a site where you could get a free e-mail account Bob >> that was designed just for brides and grooms and from Bob >> the same place you could send free wedding and engagement Bob >> e-cards. No thank you. I have several email accounts already, and I do not want one custom designed (or labeled) as a ‘bride’ email. Those whom I wished notified of my engagment were done so in person, by phone or (as a last resort) in mine and my father’s Christmas letters. (Quite difficult, given that I lived a continent away from all but two family members, but it was important for me to do as much as possible in person. YMMV.) Wait, one person was notified (ahead of time) via computer – my MOH. bob >> better yet don’t you think others in this group would bob >> want to know? Crystal has asked for links, so yes, it appears she wants to know. But a question for you, if every URL of the slightest relevance to weddings was posted willy-nilly to the newsgroup, would _you_ still be reading it? I wouldn’t. And my guess from the "no-ads" policy is that neither would many others. If you don’t like the policy, try to get it changed. (And not by telling me to ‘get a grip’ since I can’t even begin to conceive how that would accomplish this goal.) – Donna [2] of the infinite footnotes [1] Apologies if I’ve somehow mixed an unsigned post from continuing conversation, and I treated it as such. [2] Who re-iterates that sending "nasty" email accusing people of "spamming" is neither something I do, or encourage to be done. It is not polite. It upset Bob. And it upset Crystal to be mistaken for a vendor.[3] [3] I sympathized with Crystal for having her intentions mis-interpreted. Not for being mistaken as a vendor. (I do NOT hate vendors.) In fact, I tried to spin the matter s.t. being mistaken for a vendor could have been taken as a compliment! (Unlikely, since people sending such emails are unlikely to word things ambiguously enough to be complimentary, but oh well. I can hope.)
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>> So get a grip. Checkout some of the pages. You might just find > something you can use. >Okay, now I’ll say something nasty. I seriously doubt it. >- Donna
OK Donna, what if I was to tell you I knew of a site where you could get a free e-mail account that was designed just for brides and grooms and from the same place you could send free wedding and engagement e-cards. Would you care or better yet don’t you think others in this group would want to know? Or should such a service go un noticed and un used because posting a note in this group would be considered "SPAM". Oh and by the way I am not talking about the WeddingMag website. (please note hyperlink not included) Bob
Response:
> OK Donna, what if I was to tell you I knew of a site where you could get a > free e-mail account that was designed just for brides and grooms and from > the same place you could send free wedding and engagement e-cards. Would > you care or better yet don’t you think others in this group would want to > know?
Since we’re all here, obviously we already all have email and probably don’t need another account. Free web-based accounts are everywhere these days. There are plenty of places from which you can send a free greeting card, or you can be creative and send a (much more personal) email message. > Or should such a service go un noticed and un used because posting a note in > this group would be considered "SPAM".
Even if it’s not SPAM, it is in violation of the group’s "no-ads" policy. This policy was created *by the newsgroup members* because it’s something *we want*. So no, we wouldn’t want to see an advertisement for the above service. The owner of the hypothetical above service needs to find other ways of advertising than violating the FAQ of a newsgroup. That never makes friends. > Oh and by the way I am not talking about the WeddingMag website. (please > note hyperlink not included)
Um…good? Who cares? — While this email address is valid, I don’t check it due to spam. Please post all replies.
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> I don’t see what’s wrong with a "vendor" putting information in the > newsgroup about their site. > If it is pertinent to the bride to be and they have never seen the site then > they are doing the group a service by letting you know it exist.
Lord save me from all these people doing me ‘favors’. If a vendor posts "visit my website" completely unrelated to a question, then they are doing *themselves* a service. They are using the medium to get free advertizing. Don’t pretend otherwise. > For example I posted that the [snip - site URL] website had a new facelift > a couple of weeks ago and I got a nasty note from someone about spamming.
Well I’m sorry someone sent you nasty email. However, it certainly was not me. I would also modify your definition of spamming – you _can_ spam one newsgroup with one post, simply by the virtue of it going to many many people. Not recalling your original post, I’ll make no judgement on it. > So get a grip. Checkout some of the pages. You might just find > something you can use.
Okay, now I’ll say something nasty. I seriously doubt it. I do often check out posted sites. I have found the ‘personal’ ones more useful than the professional ones (caveat – Karen’s was quite useful. Not the most useful – that would either go to some woman named Amy, the soc.couples.wedding support site, or JMH) but certainly quite useful.) – Donna
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: Crystal – : : As an occassionally over-sensitive poster myself (which is : being born out in another thread 
I certainly sympathize. : Thank you for posting, and reminding us (by which I mean : generic newsgroup people, not an attempt to speak for the : newsgroup as a whole*) not to be so quick on the draw. : : Perhaps the easiest way for brides to differentiate their : posts from from vendors-pretending-to-be-brides’ posts is : to explain _why_ information/service was important to you : and may be useful to others.** <related points snipped for brevity> : However, "I found this useful BECAUSE" is (a) more useful : to other in immediately determining it’s relevance/usefulness : to them and (b) is less likely to be mistaken for a vendor : trying to reel in potential customers. <another snip for brevity> : ** Heck, I’ll make that a general request – not simply a : suggestion on distinguishing innocent posters from clever : marketers. More information on why (generic) you’d recommend : instead of simply saying that you do. Thank you in advance. Well, since I’ve only misinterpreted Donna once, I hope I can make up for it here (with apologizes for snipping valid points that are not relevant to what I’m about to post … I’m 100% in agreement here. It seems to me that it would be useful for the poster to identify *why* they are giving a recommendation. Both in the interest of explaining more about the product or service, and providing more information on why this product was particularly useful, compared to the others out there. Sure, I can read the vendor’s website, but I value the poster’s advice because they are (presumably) a happy user of it. Or, in the case of negative recommendations, I want to know more about why I should steer clear of it. Following up on that, would the group interpret it as advertising for the poster to begin their post be saying: I’m a photographer, or I’m a wedding planner or whatever? Stating their affiliation right off the bat could be seen as introducing a commercial element that may not be welcome. I see it as explaining that the poster has no hidden agenda and is not trying to reel in customers by insinuating themselves into the bride/groom’s trust. Since a lot of the hoopla lately does seem to include some concerns with the way vendors get their message (both advice and business-promotion) across, it seems we might want to clarify this point. <soapbox> It’s hard for the cynical among us to believe (and no surprise… the wedding world is full of shifty sorts) that it’s actually possible for a resource like this to flourish on the Internet without having some sort of catch. And vendor-posters are suspected of being here for other than completely altruistic motives. I would imagine that very few of the vendor-posters actually generate enough business from this group to justify the time and effort they put in giving free advice. Some people just love what they do, they like people, and want to share their knowledge of a confusing industry with people who could benefit from their knowledge. </soapbox> Despte appearances, I’m really not trying to be on a vendor soapbox and am *not* looking to take Chet’s place as the White Knight for vendors. There are a lot of sleazy people in this industry. Some of them find about this here "Internet" thing, log on to a trial account, stumble across newsgroups and post away, assuming that everyone here wants to know about their candies, honeymoons, etc. without bothering to get familiar with the community. But some vendors do take the time to try to find a place in this community, and the group needs to balance the need to avoid becoming another alt.wedding.marketplace with the need to share information, some of which may be of a commercial nature. Chris
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> I would imagine that very few of > the vendor-posters actually generate enough business from this group to > justify the time and effort they put in giving free advice. Some > people just love what they do, they like people, and want to share their > knowledge of a confusing industry with people who could benefit > from their knowledge.
Chris, RIGHT ON!! I am a DJ who has been hanging around this NG for over a year now (didn’t start posting until a few months ago though), and I can’t believe *some* of the *stuff* I have had to put up with in responses to my messages and/or advice… I guess because I am in the *wedding business* (I also do many other venues) I am looked at as some sleazy vendor by some… But I have NEVER put my companies name, phone number or web sites addresses in any of my messages… I don’t really believe that is what these NG’s are for… They are for NEWS and Q&A’s and other such info… But just because some jerk SPAMS groups (or members of groups) doesn’t mean we all do it!! I HATE SPAM as much as any of you do!! But I DO LOVE what I do (DJing) and I do want to share info with people who are or could be confused, mislead or simply just want to understand more about DJ’s and the way they could/should act and work (IMHO of course)… I give away LOTS of free advice, and people can take it or leave it… I GET lots of free advice also, some I take, some I leave… DJ Alan
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> I don’t see what’s wrong with a "vendor" putting information in the > newsgroup about their site. > If it is pertinent to the bride to be and they have never seen the site then > they are doing the group a service by letting you know it exist. > There are hundreds of sites with very usable information out there that you > will never find in search engines or at least not within the first 10 or 20 > pages or so.
"There are hundreds of sites…" is the key phrase here. If they all were "doing the bride a favor" by posting a pointer to their web page (and rest assured one post will never be enough) the newsgroup would be innundated. The alt.wedding web page and the soc.couples.wedding web pages exist to point brides to all those interesting web pages you describe. > As long as it is wedding related information it should be acceptable, if its > not then true it should not be submitted.
Under that criteria, ALL ads become acceptable as they are all wedding related. > For example I posted that the www.weddingmag.com website had a new facelift > a couple of weeks ago and I got a nasty note from someone about spamming. > To me spamming is sending a note to hundreds of newsgroups that have nothing > to do with the subject matter.
It is unfortunate that you received such email since Spam is exactly as you describe it. Personally I prefer the rather public torching of errant advertisers as opposed to email confrontations.
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This is actually a followup from Chris – but I have no idea if it will register as such, or as a followup from Nathan’s followup from Chris. Here goes. > Well, since I’ve only misinterpreted Donna once, I hope I can make up > for it here (with apologizes for snipping valid points that are not > relevant to what I’m about to post …
Yowza. No apologies needed. I did start off (posting in this thread) saying I was occassionally overly-sensitive. Perhaps cranky is the better word? > Stating their affiliation right off the bat could be seen as introducing > a commercial element that may not be welcome. I see it as explaining > that the poster has no hidden agenda and is not trying to reel in > customers by insinuating themselves into the bride/groom’s trust.
Opinions based on business-experience are just as valid in the group as opinions based on personal-experience. It’s always nice to know where a poster is coming from when they respond or introduce new topic for discussion – and so I’m all in favor of stating affiliations/conflicts-of-interest/ what have you. Not as a requirement, but as a courtesy to other readers who are trying to figure out (assuming the content doesn’t obviously speak for itself – which it more often than not does) why this person’s advice might be considered useful. (That’s supposed to be an agreement of Chris’ statement. With any luck, it even comes across as such. ;) – Donna
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> I would imagine that very few of > the vendor-posters actually generate enough business from this group to > justify the time and effort they put in giving free advice. Some > people just love what they do, they like people, and want to share their > knowledge of a confusing industry with people who could benefit > from their knowledge.
Chris, Thank you for posting this. Yes, this is exactly true, at least for some of us. In the (three?) years I’ve been here, I have never once gotten any business from this group. There have been some nibbles, but none that have panned out that I know of. On the other hand, I have received dozens of "thank-you" emails from people whom (I assume) I have helped, and that has been rewarding enough. Nathan Shafer, Alpenglow Photography http://home.earthlink.net/~shafers Photographic Artistry Nationwide: Weddings, Portraits, Nature & Wildlife
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I don’t see what’s wrong with a "vendor" putting information in the newsgroup about their site. If it is pertinent to the bride to be and they have never seen the site then they are doing the group a service by letting you know it exist. There are hundreds of sites with very usable information out there that you will never find in search engines or at least not within the first 10 or 20 pages or so. As long as it is wedding related information it should be acceptable, if its not then true it should not be submitted. For example I posted that the www.weddingmag.com website had a new facelift a couple of weeks ago and I got a nasty note from someone about spamming. To me spamming is sending a note to hundreds of newsgroups that have nothing to do with the subject matter. Not making a simple announcement about a related site with current information. So get a grip. Checkout some of the pages. You might just find something you can use. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – >Crystal – >As an occassionally over-sensitive poster myself (which is >being born out in another thread I certainly sympathize. >Thank you for posting, and reminding us (by which I mean >generic newsgroup people, not an attempt to speak for the >newsgroup as a whole*) not to be so quick on the draw. >Perhaps the easiest way for brides to differentiate their >posts from from vendors-pretending-to-be-brides’ posts is >to explain _why_ information/service was important to you >and may be useful to others.** Admittively, I’m out on even >more of a limb than usual here, because I don’t actually >recall your posts which generated any vendor-backlash emails >or followups. (They weren’t the ones saying you’d collected >a lot of links, were they? If so, I’m rambling irrelevantly.) >But a post that simply says "I just thought I’d let you know >about this useful thing" requires a reader to go investigate >the site/product in order to determine for themselves whether >it’s useful in their circumstances. A traditional practice >for even reputable businesses. >However, "I found this useful BECAUSE" is (a) more useful >to other in immediately determining it’s relevance/usefulness >to them and (b) is less likely to be mistaken for a vendor >trying to reel in potential customers. > Twice, when I posted some information I thought would be helpful > to people, I was mistaken as a vendor advertising a website. >You know, you _could_ interpret this as "she has such an >awesome site, she *must* be a professional" and be flattered. >;) >- Donna >* who will probably continue to provide these little aside >interpretations of her words/meaning for another post or >two, and then give up. ;) >** Heck, I’ll make that a general request – not simply a >suggestion on distinguishing innocent posters from clever >marketers. More information on why (generic) you’d recommend >instead of simply saying that you do. Thank you in advance.
Response:
> >I was just wondering how many others were mistaken for a vendor trying to >advertise on this site. This has happened to me twice now. > Many of the netiquette guides (see the group news.answers for Usenet > FAQs) suggest that you include a disclaimer when you recommend a product > or service: "I have no financial interest in this company, but I thought > it was a resource that might help someone else". Too many people > try to be clever and post "fake testimonials" only to have the web > site eventually link back to their e-mail addresses. > — > JMcM
And it doesn’t help when we’ve just had a rash of these fake testimonials either. You go to the web site mentioned and lo and behold, the business email address is identical to the poster’s.
Response:
Twice, when I posted some information I thought would be helpful to people, I was mistaken as a vendor advertising a website. It was quite upsetting to me. Maybe I’m just a little too sensitive. I was just wondering if this had happened to anyone else. Crystal (marrying Joe, 8/19/99)
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Crystal – As an occassionally over-sensitive poster myself (which is being born out in another thread I certainly sympathize. Thank you for posting, and reminding us (by which I mean generic newsgroup people, not an attempt to speak for the newsgroup as a whole*) not to be so quick on the draw. Perhaps the easiest way for brides to differentiate their posts from from vendors-pretending-to-be-brides’ posts is to explain _why_ information/service was important to you and may be useful to others.** Admittively, I’m out on even more of a limb than usual here, because I don’t actually recall your posts which generated any vendor-backlash emails or followups. (They weren’t the ones saying you’d collected a lot of links, were they? If so, I’m rambling irrelevantly.) But a post that simply says "I just thought I’d let you know about this useful thing" requires a reader to go investigate the site/product in order to determine for themselves whether it’s useful in their circumstances. A traditional practice for even reputable businesses. However, "I found this useful BECAUSE" is (a) more useful to other in immediately determining it’s relevance/usefulness to them and (b) is less likely to be mistaken for a vendor trying to reel in potential customers. > Twice, when I posted some information I thought would be helpful > to people, I was mistaken as a vendor advertising a website.
You know, you _could_ interpret this as "she has such an awesome site, she *must* be a professional" and be flattered. – Donna * who will probably continue to provide these little aside interpretations of her words/meaning for another post or two, and then give up. ;) ** Heck, I’ll make that a general request – not simply a suggestion on distinguishing innocent posters from clever marketers. More information on why (generic) you’d recommend instead of simply saying that you do. Thank you in advance.
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I was just wondering how many others were mistaken for a vendor trying to advertise on this site. This has happened to me twice now. Do vendors/advertisers usually have a signature that says "Jane marrying John 9/9/99" ?? Sorry, it just kind of hurt my feelings. Crystal (marrying Joe, 8/19/99)
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: I was just wondering how many others were mistaken for a vendor trying to : advertise on this site. This has happened to me twice now. Do : vendors/advertisers usually have a signature that says "Jane marrying John : 9/9/99" ?? Sorry, it just kind of hurt my feelings. What do you mean? Chris
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>I was just wondering how many others were mistaken for a vendor trying to >advertise on this site. This has happened to me twice now.
Many of the netiquette guides (see the group news.answers for Usenet FAQs) suggest that you include a disclaimer when you recommend a product or service: "I have no financial interest in this company, but I thought it was a resource that might help someone else". Too many people try to be clever and post "fake testimonials" only to have the web site eventually link back to their e-mail addresses. — JMcM
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Question:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > Hi, > Here’s another question from the wedding etiquette impaired…would > *not* putting stamps on the reply cards be right up there with, say, > having a cash bar or mentioning gift preferences on invitations. I have > realized lately that I paid no attention to any of these things in all > the weddings I have attended, been invited to, heard of or… > My mother says "some do, some don’t, I don’t think there’s a hard and > fast rule, but of course, we haven’t had a wedding for 10 years" meaning > one of my sisters that they "hosted". Quite honestly, I don’t want to > bother simply because the whole deal is already complicated. The > response cards will go to my mother in Canada where the wedding will > also be. I am ordering from a Canadian company, they will only ship to > my mother in Canada, who will then have to ship to me (in Florida). I > will do all the envelopes and whatever else you have to do then send > back to her all the ones to mail to Canadian addresses. She would then > have to put the Canadian return postage on those. Then I would have to > put the US postage to Canada on some and mail them. Then – here’s the > best part – we have a whole other batch going to England, Jamaica, Turks > and Caicos… just how am I going to find out what it costs in those > countries to mail a letter to Canada and then how would I buy said > postage. > Basically, if it’s even marginally acceptable I’d just rather not deal > with it. What do you think?
I kinda think that the reason for putting stamps on the envelopes is to encourage people to drop them in the mail quickly. Otherwise they might have to actually go to the post office and buy stamps…such an inconvenience! Debbie(& Ron) June 19, 1998
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This is just a guess from one who hasn’t even started planning yet, but I would think not stamping the envelopes would lead to fewer responses from those who aren’t going to attend the wedding "why should I go to the trouble when I’m not going to be there anyway?" Just a thought. As another poster said, pre-stamped replies are more likely to get dropped right in the mailbox. All that said, I think it’s perfectly fine not to, I don’t think anyone will be bothered, you just might not get the replies you’d like.
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I don’t think etiquette is the biggest problem with not including stamps on the return envelope. (BTW, I would find it strange if the envelope was unstamped . . . but that’s just me). I think you’re biggest problem will be a lack of timely response!
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I agree with the postage-conversion rate problem with the Jamaican and other postage, but for all of those postal rates that you DO know (USA and Canada) I would recommend using the correct postage. On the other hand, you would look quite impressive if you took the time to find out what the postal charges are for those countries were and included them as well! That would be the icing on the cake (IMHO). Patrick!
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<snip> > Just a thought. As another poster said, pre-stamped replies are more likely > to get dropped right in the mailbox. > All that said, I think it’s perfectly fine not to, I don’t think anyone will > be bothered, you just might not get the replies you’d like.
I was told by a person who works at a stationers shop that including reply cards, stamped or not, does not appreciably raise the number of responses one gets. Annoying news, and I’m not sure I believe it, even though this person has much more experience in wedding rsvps than I do. FWIW
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I know many people think that this is basic etiquette… Here is what I think: If people are offended by having to put a little stamp on the return envelope… they can just as well stay home. That’s MY opinion! Personally, I would never, ever be as rude as to talk badly about people who kindly invited me to their wedding, but didn’t pre stamp the return envelope.. It seems ridiculous to me. Just so you know, in many countries it is not even the custom to send response cards. The guests take care of this themselves! What a dream…. I had the same problem as you, sending invites to another country. So I sent them off without the stamp. So if you send yours without, then we will be two…. Hey, perhaps we’ll start a new trend! Elin – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > Hi, > Here’s another question from the wedding etiquette impaired…would > *not* putting stamps on the reply cards be right up there with, say, > having a cash bar or mentioning gift preferences on invitations. I have > realized lately that I paid no attention to any of these things in all > the weddings I have attended, been invited to, heard of or… > My mother says "some do, some don’t, I don’t think there’s a hard and > fast rule, but of course, we haven’t had a wedding for 10 years" meaning > one of my sisters that they "hosted". Quite honestly, I don’t want to > bother simply because the whole deal is already complicated. The > response cards will go to my mother in Canada where the wedding will > also be. I am ordering from a Canadian company, they will only ship to > my mother in Canada, who will then have to ship to me (in Florida). I > will do all the envelopes and whatever else you have to do then send > back to her all the ones to mail to Canadian addresses. She would then > have to put the Canadian return postage on those. Then I would have to > put the US postage to Canada on some and mail them. Then – here’s the > best part – we have a whole other batch going to England, Jamaica, Turks > and Caicos… just how am I going to find out what it costs in those > countries to mail a letter to Canada and then how would I buy said > postage. > Basically, if it’s even marginally acceptable I’d just rather not deal > with it. What do you think? > TIA > Rose – who is probably more aggravated than I should be by this simply > because it is past midnight and I am still at the office doing this > stuff :(
Response:
In as much as reply cards have become the norm (although still a no-no for serious etiquette sticklers) because people simply do not find it within themselves to respond appropriately to an invitation without being proded, it is incumbent upon you to facilitate the response to its conclusion – and that means putting the stamp on the reply envelope. Hope this helps, Noe — * Sprocket * * RIP 1/1/98 *
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Hi! This is my personal opinion (through experience)…I disagree with the person that told you it doesn’t make a difference on the the number of replies you receive…I am a wedding planner/coordinator, and in helping couples keep track of the rsvp’s for an almost accurate guest count, I’ve seen it done both ways (each time it’s the couples’ choice) – I have seen more responses (positive & negative) with stamped reply envelopes…without the stamps, I’ve seen more assumptions of who may or may not show and sometimes causing a waste because the couple would rather be prepared to have more available at a reception and the assumed number (say 150 out of 200 invites likely to show) is totally off (say 75 out of 200 actually show)…this is not to say that it is a mandatory thing because postage can add up to another large expense, but I think it’s a case by case thing…you know the type of people you want to share your special day with, you have to look at it in a lot of ways to make that decision…but still, it’s the couples choice on how they want to handle it regardless of the outcome (also, they have to consider their original budget strategy and http://www.freeyellow.com/members/purple-lion/ – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – ><snip> > Just a thought. As another poster said, pre-stamped replies are more likely > to get dropped right in the mailbox. > All that said, I think it’s perfectly fine not to, I don’t think anyone will > be bothered, you just might not get the replies you’d like. >I was told by a person who works at a stationers shop that including >reply cards, stamped or not, does not appreciably raise the number of >responses one gets. Annoying news, and I’m not sure I believe it, even >though this person has much more experience in wedding rsvps than I do. >FWIW
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: I had the same problem as you, sending invites to another country. So I sent : them off without the stamp. So if you send yours without, then we will be : two…. Hey, perhaps we’ll start a new trend! We’re going one step further — just putting our phone number and email address below the RSVP line *on* the actual invite. I’ve always hated those little rsvp cards, and don’t see the point in holding my guests’ hands in such a step-bystep way…. just my opinion, of course. But, we’ve got a small guest list (less than 70 people) of family and close friends who we (or our parents) normally would be in contact with between the invites and the actual wedding anyway. My fiance hates the little cards with a passion, so we’re just not doing them. Anyone who objects gets the response that "Many of my father’s diplomatic corps invites just come with an RSVP line and a phone number. We figure we’ll take the lead of the people — the diplomats and their staff — who do this sort of thing regularly." This way, too, my fiance will be the one keeping track of the numbers — I’ll be in the middle of exams and bar admissions courses in a different city when the numbers are collected — and he can deal with it all (under the watchful long-distance eye of my mother, the ‘real’ wedding planner!). –Barbara, marrying Julian, June 19 1999 Dal Law, Class of ‘99
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> Any person who thinks you should fly to Turks & Caicos to get the right > stamps has their head up a part of their anatomy I’d rather not describe > here. Etiquette "rule" or not.
LOLOL… I really do appreciate all the feedback on this. I really couldn’t imagine that anyone could expect that I should do this but… I read a lot of stuff lately (like approximately since I started this wedding planning) which is apparently considered acceptable/expected/required or whatever that to me is either just stupid/ridiculous or bizarre. Of course, were there no such things as budget and time constraints a little jaunt to the Turks and Caicos to buy some postage would be great. Anyway, between all the feedback I got and the fact that a girl in my office (who’s input I consider worthwhile) did not "pre-stamp" I decided that I am not going to bother with it. Since our wedding is in Canada and I basically know who is planning to travel to it and who is not already (long before invites are going out) I’m not really too concerned about a lower response rate. I am sure that those going to Saskatchewan will let me know so I can help with hotel etc. arrangements. Really, I think I should just stop reading these etiquette things… Rose
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>> Hi, > Here’s another question from the wedding etiquette impaired…would > *not* putting stamps on the reply cards be right up there with, say, > having a cash bar or mentioning gift preferences on invitations?
I was wondering this too. Because if I have my own e-mail address by then (not just at work), I think it would be nice to have the response card have instructions to contact me either by e-mail, phone, or by stamping and mailing the response card. I wouldn’t want to put stamps on all of them if very many people would be contacting me by those other means, but I wouldn’t want to be rude to not stamp them… A related concern: If I do offer the other ways of getting ahold of me, will it be too hard for me to keep track of responses? Is it easier to just have everyone mail cards back to me? — Shawna * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * "Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers * * to be silly." –Rose Franken * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
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> …if I have my own e-mail address by then > (not just at work), I think it would be nice to have the response card > have instructions to contact me either by e-mail, phone, or by stamping > and mailing the response card. I wouldn’t want to put stamps on all of > them if very many people would be contacting me by those other means, but > I wouldn’t want to be rude to not stamp them… A related concern: If I > do offer the other ways of getting ahold of me, will it be too hard for me > to keep track of responses? Is it easier to just have everyone mail cards > back to me?
Here’s what I (Ms. Organizationally Impaired) would try: First, assume you’re going to let responses flood in for a week or two before you start counting them. It will be easier than trying to count as you go. Now… 1. Make a folder or something to store your mailed response cards. Initially, you can just shove the cards in as they arrive. After you "count" a card, put a big X on it AND put it in a separate folder. 2. Put a notepad and pen next to your phone/answering machine. Use it ONLY for wedding responses — once you start mixing messages, the mess increases. As it fills, you can rip off pages and shove them into the mail folder. Again, when you "count" a response, X it AND move it to a new folder. 3. In your e-mail mailbox, set up a folder called Wedding. Move every e-mailed response to this folder as soon as it arrives. Then, you can either print them, put them in the mail folder, and then X and move them when you count them OR… you can do the count at your computer and move each counted response to a new e-mail folder called Wedding Done. The IMMEDIATE move to an e-mail folder prevents you from losing Cousin Mel’s response among 125 messages on other topics — which is what I tend to do with important mail. Based on the fact that I now have bits of wedding ideas all over the bedroom floor (partly thanks to cats), I would strongly advise setting aside ONE spot in your home for all wedding planning stuff so that it doesn’t escape. The minute we get that second bedroom painted, one shelf in the closet goes for this! Wende
Response:
following: >Here’s another question from the wedding etiquette impaired…would >*not* putting stamps on the reply cards <would be tacky, improper, etc>
I can only speak from one experience. My cousin did not have the envelopes stamped. Personally, I don’t see anything wrong with it either way. It’s all of $0.32 (in the US), so it’s not a big deal, IMHO. Then again, I have a habit of being on the wrong side of the fence on these things (albeit I don’t care) so you may want to take it w/ a grain of salt. later…peace…Jud Note: to send me e-mail, you must include "Hey Jud" w/o quotes somewhere in the body of the message. Sorry, anti-spam filtering.
Response:
Hi, Here’s another question from the wedding etiquette impaired…would *not* putting stamps on the reply cards be right up there with, say, having a cash bar or mentioning gift preferences on invitations. I have realized lately that I paid no attention to any of these things in all the weddings I have attended, been invited to, heard of or… My mother says "some do, some don’t, I don’t think there’s a hard and fast rule, but of course, we haven’t had a wedding for 10 years" meaning one of my sisters that they "hosted". Quite honestly, I don’t want to bother simply because the whole deal is already complicated. The response cards will go to my mother in Canada where the wedding will also be. I am ordering from a Canadian company, they will only ship to my mother in Canada, who will then have to ship to me (in Florida). I will do all the envelopes and whatever else you have to do then send back to her all the ones to mail to Canadian addresses. She would then have to put the Canadian return postage on those. Then I would have to put the US postage to Canada on some and mail them. Then – here’s the best part – we have a whole other batch going to England, Jamaica, Turks and Caicos… just how am I going to find out what it costs in those countries to mail a letter to Canada and then how would I buy said postage. Basically, if it’s even marginally acceptable I’d just rather not deal with it. What do you think? TIA Rose – who is probably more aggravated than I should be by this simply because it is past midnight and I am still at the office doing this stuff :(
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Question:
Any suggestions as to resources for designing one’s own ceremony? (books and the like). We’ve planned to marry ourselves, and want to include our parents, siblings and 2-3 very close friends, having each of them contribute to the ceremony in some way. We don’t want a third party (minister/judge) involved, although we are thinking of having someone less involved to be a "master/mistress of ceremonies", just to keep things moving. We lived in Pennsylvania for a long time & are hoping to technically get married there (Quaker tradition provides for self-marriage, as long as witnesses are present), but have our own little ceremony in NJ with more people present. Any suggestions by email or posting are appreciated Laura (& Steve) — Laura Hyatt <><><><><><><><><><> University of New Mexico Madness takes its toll. Department of Biology Please have exact change. Albuquerque, NM 87131 <><><><><><><><><><>
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Go to the largest bookstore you can find and check out what’s available. We used "Words for Your Wedding," by Glusker and Misner, Harper San Francisco, 1986. The wedding service is divided into sections, and within each section, they list the ceremonies from a bunch of different denominations–then they have a civil service and some they also wrote from scratch. Really lovely stuff. Teresa – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Any suggestions as to resources for designing one’s own ceremony? (books > and the like). We’ve planned to marry ourselves, and want to include our > parents, siblings and 2-3 very close friends, having each of them contribute > to the ceremony in some way. We don’t want a third party > (minister/judge) involved, although we are thinking of having someone > less involved to be a "master/mistress of ceremonies", just to keep > things moving. We lived in Pennsylvania for a long time & are hoping to > technically get married there (Quaker tradition provides for > self-marriage, as long as witnesses are present), but have our own little > ceremony in NJ with more people present. Any suggestions by email or > posting are appreciated > Laura (& Steve) > — > Laura Hyatt <><><><><><><><><><> > University of New Mexico Madness takes its toll. > Department of Biology Please have exact change. > Albuquerque, NM 87131 <><><><><><><><><><>
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>Any suggestions as to resources for designing one’s own ceremony? (books >and the like). We’ve planned to marry ourselves, and want to include our >parents, siblings and 2-3 very close friends, having each of them contribute >to the ceremony in some way. We don’t want a third party >(minister/judge) involved, although we are thinking of having someone >less involved to be a "master/mistress of ceremonies", just to keep >things moving. We lived in Pennsylvania for a long time & are hoping to >technically get married there (Quaker tradition provides for >self-marriage, as long as witnesses are present), but have our own little >ceremony in NJ with more people present. Any suggestions by email or >posting are appreciated >Laura (& Steve) >–
"Weddings from the Heart: Contemporary and Traditional Ceremonies for an Unforgettable Wedding" Daphne Rose Kingma, Conari Press, Berkeley, CA Have Fun! Marnie * <- Tribble * <- Tribble slide.
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>Any suggestions as to resources for designing one’s own ceremony? (books >and the like). We’ve planned to marry ourselves, and want to include our >parents, siblings and 2-3 very close friends, having each of them contribute >to the ceremony in some way.
"Ceremonies of the Heart: Celebrating Lesbian Unions" edited by Becky Butler Copyright 1990. The Seal Press, Seattle. ISBN 0-931-18892-X. – A few ceremonies with lots of participation from guests. "Dykes To Watch Out For: The Sequel" by Alison Bechdel Copyright 1992. Firebrand Books. ISBN 1-56341-008-7. – Part of the wedding ceremony includes guests stating their feelings about event. "For as Long as We Both Shall Live" by Roger Fritts Copyright 1993. Avon Books, New York. ISBN 0-380-76928-X. – Draws examples from Protestant, Roman Catholic, Jewish, Contemporary and Civil services. Discusses the different parts of a wedding service in great detail. "I Do: A Guide to Creating Your Own Unique Wedding Ceremony" by Sydney Barbara Metrick / Copyright 1992. CelestialArts, Berkeley. ISBN 0-89087-679-7 – A combination of advice and worksheets. Includes sample services with an emphasis on intercultural ceremonies. "The Oxford Book of Marriage" edited by Helge Rubinstein Copyright 1990. Oxford University Press, New York. ISBN 0-192-82930-0. – Helped me a great deal with setting up the tone of the ceremony. I found it remaindered. "Weddings by Design: A Guide to Non-Traditional Ceremonies" by Richard Leviton Copyright 1993. HarperSanFrancisco. ISBN 0-062-51007-X. – A thesis-thick book on wedding traditions throughout the world. Heavy emphasis on astrology. "Your Wedding, Your Way: A Guide to Contemporary Wedding Options" by Carol Newman / Copyright 1975. Doubleday, New York. ISBN 0-385-09608-9. – A very progressive 70’s ceremony planner written by a Humanist minister. The only planner I’ve seen that lists the basic requirements for a legal marriage in all fifty states. If you’re looking for sample vows, send mail to Steve Haslet at his "packet" to people now. — As usual, Renee
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Question:
Hi there, My partner and me are going on holiday to Melbourne in Feb 2004, we will be staying with relatives but we wish to get married while we are there. We are struggling to find a wedding venue as the travelagent can not organise a wedding in melbourne. Anyone any ideas or have done this before, we are from the uk? — Regards Simon
Response:
Hire a wedding coordinator if you want something fancy. Or be prepared for lots of long distance phone calls to arrange it yourself. Or just plan an uncomplicated simple civil service wedding and an elegant dinner out at a posh restaurant afterwards. Or look for one of those "destination wedding" companies — I don’t know anything about them but there are some that advertise on wedding web sites. Or contact a very nice hotel where you’re going and ask the concierge for assistance — some of the very high class/$$$$$$ ones will organize the entire event for you.
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> My partner and me are going on holiday to Melbourne in Feb 2004, we will be > staying with relatives but we wish to get married while we are there. > We are struggling to find a wedding venue as the travelagent can not > organise a wedding in melbourne. > Anyone any ideas or have done this before, we are from the uk?
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– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Hi there, > My partner and me are going on holiday to Melbourne in Feb 2004, we will be > staying with relatives but we wish to get married while we are there. > We are struggling to find a wedding venue as the travelagent can not > organise a wedding in melbourne. > Anyone any ideas or have done this before, we are from the uk? > — > Regards > Simon
Change travel agents. most can find out lots of information of hotels that host weddings. Also most travel agents can reserve the hall for you. When it comes down to the catering and other details you might want to hire a wedding-planner or be prepared to do the phone calls yourself. Niki,
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Hi I suggest you have a look in the Yellow pages, www.yellowpages.com.au for a wedding planner who maybe able to assist you. naffi
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Hi there, > My partner and me are going on holiday to Melbourne in Feb 2004, we will > be > staying with relatives but we wish to get married while we are there. > We are struggling to find a wedding venue as the travelagent can not > organise a wedding in melbourne. > Anyone any ideas or have done this before, we are from the uk? > — > Regards > Simon > Change travel agents. most can find out lots of information of hotels that > host weddings. Also most travel agents can reserve the hall for you. > When it comes down to the catering and other details you might want to hire > a wedding-planner or be prepared to do the phone calls yourself. > Niki,
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Hi Simon, I found this web site on my own searches. It may help you with your plans, I don’t know how good they are but it may be worth a look. Good luck With your wedding and I hope all goes well when you visit my beautiful country. http://www.weddingsabroad.com/aust.htm http://www.wayoutweddings.com/ Steve
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"Simon Walton" wrote … > Hi there, > My partner and me are going on holiday to Melbourne in Feb 2004, we will be > staying with relatives but we wish to get married while we are there. > We are struggling to find a wedding venue as the travelagent can not > organise a wedding in melbourne. > Anyone any ideas or have done this before, we are from the uk?
Your rellies are of no help ?? I am from Melbourne http://directory.weddingcentral.com.au/vic http://www.brideonline.com.au/wedding-coordinators.htm http://www.i-do.com.au HTH.
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Question:
Hi all. Ok, I’m still indecisive about who to get to officiate pretty much anyone will do, whether religious or not (I said before that I had heard a religious ceremony was more special and/or meaningful — but many people wrote me and changed my mind.) I called the number in the phone book for marriage licenses (as someone had suggested before) becasue they would probably have a list of those JP’s or judges that do weddings. Unfortunately, I found the woman I talked to there rather rude and her answer to my query was a curt "No, we don’t do that". So where can I find a JP or Judge? I figure they would probably be the easiest to get since I don’t belong to a church and I am not getting married in a church. Is there a special number (or department in the local gov’t) that I can call? Sorry I keep asking so many questions…I’m kinda stressed right now since I found out my job is in North Carolina and Dave’s is in Pennsylvania. We’ve decided to get married in September and stay separated for up to two years. No, I’m not a happy camper. Thanks for the brief vent… Pam (and Dave) Sept. 3, 1994
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I tried to email this twice, but it bounced. Here’s my sage opinion: Pamela – in my state, a Superior Court judge can perform a ceremony. This information was provided in an information packet we got from the marriage license bureau (my fiance works in the same building). The superior court judges are listed in our phone book under county government (the county administers weddings here). I suspect if you called the first judge on the list, his or her staff could tell you who does weddings. So, try getting an info packet from the marriage license people (maybe you’ll get a different clerk, or a better day) and it should say. I can’t believe your state does not have judges alllowed to perform marriages, so there must have been some misunderstanding (of course, not even knowing what state you are in, I could be totally off base on this one). Once you get names, be sure to talk to them about what kind of ceremony they are willing to do and where. Some are judge’s chamber’s only; some are any site, but the two minute ceremony only; some are whatever you want. Also, there are many non-affiliated ministers that can do lovely weddings as well. We are having a JP who will help us write our ceremony if we want (and askes you to write the check out to a charity, not him. I like that), but I talked to a few ministers who could be as religious or not as you wanted. I got their names from a local bridal directory. If you live in a largish town, try looking for local publications in local bridal-type shops or in the library. Hope this helps, Selene
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– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Hi all. Ok, I’m still indecisive about who to get to officiate > pretty much anyone will do, whether religious or not (I said > before that I had heard a religious ceremony was more > special and/or meaningful — but many people wrote me and > changed my mind.) > I called the number in the phone book for marriage licenses (as > someone had suggested before) becasue they would probably have > a list of those JP’s or judges that do weddings. Unfortunately, > I found the woman I talked to there rather rude and her answer > to my query was a curt "No, we don’t do that". > So where can I find a JP or Judge? I figure they would probably > be the easiest to get since I don’t belong to a church and I > am not getting married in a church. Is there a special number > (or department in the local gov’t) that I can call? > Sorry I keep asking so many questions…I’m kinda stressed right > now since I found out my job is in North Carolina and Dave’s is > in Pennsylvania. We’ve decided to get married in September and > stay separated for up to two years. No, I’m not a happy camper. > Thanks for the brief vent… > Pam (and Dave) > Sept. 3, 1994
You can always ask other services (florists, musicians, caterers, etc.) that you have already hired to provide references for other services. They are an excellent source, since they usually know who is and who is not harmonious to work with. And believe me ALL services should be interacting and concerned about the performance of the other services. If you have wedding consultants in your yellow pages, they should also be able to provide references. However, as a certified wedding consultant myself, I caution you to be wary of wedding consultants that do not give referrals for free, or who insist on a lengthy initial consultation. If they only give out referrals that they have contract arrangements with for referral fees, I would question the quality of the service. I refer services that do a more than expected job – period – for free, never for a referral fee. And lenghty initial consultations are usually designed to overwhelm the couple with all the details and create an urgency to sign a contract with the consultant. I refuse to set an initial appointment for more than 1 and
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